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VIEWING 1 - 3 OUT OF 3 BLOGS.
Take That, Homelessness!
DATE: 02/08/2008 11:01:25 / MOOD: disappointed
So last night, I went up in front of a whopping 20 folks at this benefit for the homeless I did last night. I think we raised enough money to help half a dude.
Tonight, I'm going to Bon Aqua, TN to perform at a comedy contest. Comedy contests are the worst. You tell your little jokey-jokes, then at the end you have to stand on stage while people judge you via applause. It makes me feel sort of like cattle . . . Hilarious, side-splitting cattle. Speaking of dignity-sucking cattle calls, I'm auditioning for Last Comic Standing this year. I'm sure my unique comedy angle of "balding cynical white dude" will make me stand out. (By the way, a little showbiz inside info: Ant is gay. Seriously.) Tomorrow, I'm speaking at a podcasting seminar . . . They invited anyone to speak, I said "sure," and now I'm an authority. Sweet.
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A Benefit In Nashville Tomorrow Night
DATE: 02/06/2008 11:06:49 / MOOD: happy
Tomorrow night, I'm telling jokes at The Muse in Nashville at a benefit for the homeless . . . Come on down and witness my good deed for the decade: 
A very funny lineup, hope to see you.
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Crap & Stuff
DATE: 01/31/2008 10:56:10 / MOOD: other
Long-time residents of Arkansas have an old saying: "Please kill me." I understood that saying last week, when I drove through Arkansas to perform standup comedy in Fort Smith. I performed at a Comedy Zone-sponsored night at this ???kicker-plex called The Electric Cowboy. The Electric Cowboy is a chain of redneck nightclubs throughout the South. It's kinda like Thunderdome with uglier people.
My set was "meh" . . . I always have trouble when I perform in Arkansas. The first time I performed in Arkansas, I was in Hot Springs, a dumptacular ???berg in the heart of the Belt Buckle Belt. It was easily the worst set of my life. The crowd was large and dumb. Put it this way: There was a family with moustaches (including the kids and wife) sitting in the front row. The wife would constantly answer rhetorical questions: "You know what I don't get?" "WHAT?!?!?" Agony.
At one point, I heard a redneck mutter under his breath, "This guy's an asshole." I was so rattled I forgot most of my jokes, and I ended up bumbling around while the rubes glared at me. After the show, I met a 16-year old mother of two girls named Aryan.
Ah, Arkansas. I hate you so much.
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