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VIEWING 1 - 7 OUT OF 7 BLOGS.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL in "SOY VULVA"
DATE: 02/08/2008 17:07:32 / MOOD: high
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL
In
“SOY VULVA”
INT. RIPOLL’S ABODE – NIGHT
A tall woman (Ripollina) is
revealed to be standing over Horace and Patrick’s unconscious bodies.
HEAD and SHOULDERS REVEAL on
Ripollina (played by Patrick). She pulls out her cell phone and calls an
unidentified contact.
RIPOLLINA: Soy Vulva? This is
Agent 42. Give me a three count bodyslide back to The HIVE.
SOY VULVA: (over the phone) That’s
a negative, 42. We’ve terminated your contract.
RIPOLLINA: What? He was my bounty!
This is total bull???. I paid my dues to hunt this punk.
SOY VULVA: (over the phone) If I
were you, I’d vacate the area. The Edison Twins are en route.
Ripollina gets pissed and throws
her phone against a wall. She looks down at the two bodies for a moment, then….WHOOSH!
A bucket of water is thrown on the
unconscious men.
RIPOLLINA: On your feet, men.
Patrick and Horace slowly climb to
their feet.
HORACE: Master Ripoll, what
happened?
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL: I don’t know.
The last thing I remember is something about Superfudge.
Ripoll looks up to see Ripollina
standing over him.
Ripoll’s POV as he stares long and
hard at Ripollina.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL: You’re my
dream girl.
Ripollina smacks Ripoll in the
face.
RIPOLLINA: I don’t have time for
this ???, man. The Edison Twins are nearly here.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL: The who?
RIPOLLINA: The Edison Twins are pair of mental
defectives from the Great White North sent to hunt you for sport.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL: Why?
RIPOLLINA: The Canadian Government
needs the secret in your brain.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL: I have a
secret?
RIPOLLINA: That’s what we’re going
to find out at my safehouse.
Ripollina points at Horace.
RIPOLLINA: The old man has to stay
behind.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL: NOT MY
MANSERVANT!
RIPOLLINA: I’m sorry, kid. But, my
bike only holds two.
Horace simply smiles.
HORACE: I’ve dealt with Canadians
before, sir. I’m sure that this Canuckleheads won’t give me much ballyhoo.
Young Master Ripoll salutes Horace
and then follows Ripollina outside to her motorcycle.
EXT. RIPOLL’S ABODE – NIGHT
You can use stock footage here,
Patrick. Just pick some random clip (it doesn’t even have to match what you
shot). It just needs to be two people driving off on a motorcycle.
INT. RIPOLL’S ABODE – MOMENTS LATER
Horace is cleaning up the abode,
when he hears someone enter the room.
EDISON TWIN #1: (off-screen) Where’s the boy?
HORACE: Oh! You must be the
Canadians. Young Master Ripoll has left with a new lady friend. I’m absolutely
positive that he’s miles away from here by now.
EDISON TWIN #2: (off-screen) What?!?
HORACE: I’m sorry for your
inconvenience, sirs. But, I would ask you kindly to leave.
Offscreen, we need to hear the
sound of a shotgun being cocked.
HORACE: Very well, sirs. Prepare
to meet your end.
Horace pulls a knife out of his
sleeve and charges at the Edison Twins. We hear the scuffle happen off-camera. Then, Horace appears
back on frame with a bloody knife and his clothing messed up.
HORACE: Never ??? with the
manservant.
CLOSE on Horace, as he tidies
himself up when we hear what sounds like a cork being popped.
SHOT FROM HORACE’S POV, as he
looks down and sees a large red splatter mark on his chest.
HORACE: How will I ever get this
stain out?
Horace falls to the ground, as he
continues to bleed out. From behind Horace, we hear someone step forward.
REVEAL of SOY VULVA (also played
by Ripoll). She’s carrying a smoking pistol while dressed like a Feminazi
Commando.
SOY VULVA: It’s my contract now,
bitch.
Soy Vulva begins to cackle, as a
title card appears.
TITLE CARD: “TO BE CONTINUED….”
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ANDERSON presents "YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL in BY THE POWER OF FUDGE" soon to be a Viral Video
DATE: 02/06/2008 17:09:58 / MOOD: other
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL
In
“BY THE POWER OF
FUDGE!”
INT. RIPOLL’S ABODE – NIGHT
Young Master Ripoll
paces the floor of his private sanctuary.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“Filth isn’t any easy thing to abide, Horace.”
Horace the Butler slowly saunters into the room.
HORACE: “What was
that, sir?”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“Nothing, Horace. I just have a problem.”
HORACE: “When I have
a problem, sir. I grab a young male hustler and pop him in the mouth. He’s
pleased as punch when I whip out my wallet and I lose the madness in my brain.”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“But, I crave woman flesh. I need the succulent ham wallet in my life.”
HORACE: “A puss in
hand is always good, sir. But, how does
one of your status get the young ladies to gravitate your way?”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“Money only goes so far, the violence needs to stop and I’m out of drugs. So, I
guess that only leaves Black Magic.”
HORACE: “Black magic,
sir?”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“I was watching a documentary on the picture box about a book bound in human
flesh dubbed the Necronomicon. It has the incantations that will allow me to
claim the females I need.”
HORACE: “Shall I
inform the library to receive you in the morning?”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“Very well, Horace.”
HORACE: “Consider it
done, sir.”
Young Master Ripoll
smiles and heads to his bedroom.
EXT. RIPOLL’S ABODE –
MORNING
Young Master Ripoll
struts out of his home, as he makes his way to the library.
Ladies and gentlemen
pass Ripoll, but he doesn’t care. It’s his world and we are here to groove it
in.
INT. THE LIBRARY – AFTERNOON
Young Master Ripoll
pushes past some people at the front door of the Library and walks up a
staircase. He turns to face some old ladies and licks his lips. He ignores
their disgusted faces, as he strolls over to the front desk.
Ripoll slaps his hand
on the counter. An older man (also played by Patrick) turns around to greet
him.
OLD MAN LIBRARIAN: “How may I help you?”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“I have need of a book.”
OLD MAN LIBRARIAN: “What book, young man?”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“The Necronomicon.”
OLD MAN LIBRARIAN: “Who’s that by?”
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“Dan Brown, I believe.”
Ripoll waits on the
librarian, when he suddenly begins to hear a voice call to him. Ripoll walks
past the others in the front desk area, as he follows the voice. We follow
Ripoll, as he makes his way to the Children’s Section where he finds a spinner
rack.
MYSTERIOUS VOICE:
“Superfudge. Take it. Turn to the last page.”
CLOSE on Ripoll’s
hand, as he reaches out for the copy of Superfudge on the Spinner Rack.
Ripoll holds the book
close to his face and flips to the last page.
SHOT FROM RIPOLL’S
POV, as we see what’s written.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“Ego dico patefacio thee Diabolus verto urbs in meus mancipium. Per vestri vox
, patefacio porta purgatorium quod permissum damno no puter!
Suddenly, the book
rips out of Ripoll’s hands. Young Master Ripoll turns around to see the
building is shaking. Ripoll runs out of the library, while others seem frozen
in their places.
EXT. THE LIBRARY – LATER
Young Master Ripoll
runs for his life, as everyone around him doesn’t seem to understand what’s
going on.
INT. RIPOLL’S ABODE – MOMENTS LATER
Young Master Ripoll
runs into his abode, where he finds Horace lying on the ground.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“Speak to me, old man! What happened?”
Horace doesn’t
answer, but points to something offscreen.
Young Master Ripoll
looks up at the unseen figure.
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL:
“I thought I killed you.”
Suddenly, a bat
smacks Ripoll in the side of the hat. SHOT FROM ABOVE, as we look down at
Horace and Ripoll’s unconscious bodies.
TITLE CARD: “TO BE CONTINUED”
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ANDERSON presents "YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL in DAMN IT, MAMET" soon to be a Viral Video
DATE: 01/31/2008 17:30:58 / MOOD: happy
YOUNG MASTER
RIPOLL
IN
“MAMET, DAMN
IT!”
All roles to be portrayed by Young Master Ripoll
INT. YOUNG
MASTER RIPOLL’S HUMBLE ABODE
Young Master Ripoll is sitting in a chair smoking
his pipe.
RIPOLL: “The plight of the inner-city youth has me
thinking about the role of nature vs. nurture.”
Ripoll turns to face someone not on frame.
RIPOLL: “What do you think, Horace?”
Horace the Butler walks
into frame.
HORACE THE BUTLER: “I
think it means I’ll have to put a tarp down and troll the homeless shelters.”
RIPOLL: “Teenage runaways are what I need for this
experiment, Horace. The elderly bums of this Windy City are of
no use to me.”
HORACE THE BUTLER: “Does
sir need his medication today?”
RIPOLL: “No, Horace. Sir needs to jive.”
Young Master Ripoll jumps to his feet.
EXT. YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL’S HUMBLE ABODE
This needs to be a prolonged sequence of Young
Master Ripoll strolling down to the street ala “Saturday Night Fever”.
We follow Ripoll around for about thirty seconds
before he comes to a stop. Across the street, he spots Ripollina (Patrick in drag).
Young Master Ripoll does his best to woo the young
lady, but once he gets near her he vomits. He keeps vomiting, while she walks
away.
INT. YOUNG
MASTER RIPOLL’S HUMBLE ABODE
Young Master Ripoll wakes up to find that he was
just dreaming. He looks down at a bloody tarp lying on the floor.
Horace the Butler comes
walking into the room.
HORACE THE BUTLER: “Did
sir have the dream again?”
RIPOLL: “Yes, manservant. Now fetch my linens. I
have need of cleanliness.”
Ripoll reaches down for his pipe.
RIPOLL: “I have much need of cleanliness.”
TITLE CARD appears
in the middle of the screen:
“TO BE CONTINUED”
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YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL makes his dramatic debut in "OBLIVION"
YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL in "THE ROCK BAND ADVENTURE"
ANDERSON PRESENTS: YOUNG MASTER RIPOLL'S VENTURE TO THE LOCAL KING OF BURGERS
I saw a woman do the most horrible thing to a Chiquita Banana yesterday
DATE: 01/25/2008 12:26:38 / MOOD: full of life
So, they decided to add a Blog function. Great, one more thing for me to ignore or will I? I'm an attention whore, so I beseech the Chewers to read this. Who knows? I might actually do something on here. For now, I leave you with a haiku. Cockpunch McBeardface Keep your eye on the sparrow Robert Blake guilty
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