How To Go To Film School And Not Kill Fucking Everybody - Volume 1
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By:
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RennBrown
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Mood:
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other
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Date:
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02/02/2008 05:15:00
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Music:
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Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatry
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Who I'm not killing today: Text Books Fuck you, I go to film school. Pardon the combativeness, but it can be a frustrating life to be a walking cliche/stereotype. Fortunately, we all are (I'm looking in your direction Spanish Jews) but it can still grate the balls from time to time. Considering the CHUD wise men have seen it fit to grant me a CHUD-related outlet to blog in, I figured that should be my focus (one of them anyway). I have delightful tales to tell you, Oh my friends. And while I am sure that some of the other Chewers are film students, perhaps at my own school, screw them and listen to me - I need it. This here film school is big enough to provide some kooky tales, so there should be plenty of fodder for my young virile mind to add lots of profanity and witty-wordings to and then call clever. For example.... ...my Preproduction textbook. This book I refer to was written in 1985, by Some Guy. The one interesting thing about it is that it revolves around hypothetically producing The Conversation (apparently Some Guy was tight with Francis Ford Coppola - which ???ing every professor and slightly older film festival goer is apparently...) The book is a bit frustrating though, because the foreword revolves around the author somewhat acknowledging the changes in the film industry as such; "As many of us cannot imagine life without our carphones and fax machines, soon computerized film scheduling [will] become the standard."
So I just spent money on a textbook detailing a system before computers from the 80's. The 80's. Didn't they have stegosauruses doing their script breakdowns in the 80's? Fucking old people. I feel like this book is going to disintegrate in my hands if I read it too hard. I have the Dead Sea Scrolls of ???ing film production textbooks. Let me repeat, Nineteen-Eighty-Fucking-Five. The ink is probably made from ground-up cellphone bricks and yuppie blood. I can feel the Reaganomics bleeding from the spine. The cover is done in 4-color printed Neon pink, green and blue - that desaturated ??? the same color as the bangles on Madonna's wrists. 
Why can't we have a textbook from the modern age. it needs some nice classy photoshop design, full color printing - maybe some flames. Yeah, flames. That'd be bad ass. TheMonsterZero
** My professor is actually a knowledgeable ??? and all we do is work in brand-baby spankin'-new budgeting software. But still, the 80's? The only good thing to come out of that decade is writing this amazing piece of commentary right here.
***And I swear to god, if I have to stick an LOL or one of those goddamn winking smileys down here for you to get this article... die
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