Last year at this time, I was in limbo.

    Struck with a side effect of an illness, I had rolled a six on the 'corn holed by the Gods' table and gotten one of those one tenth of one percent kind of things going on. I had a cyst growing on my pancreas that would turn out to be the size of a healthy newborn, and was eating 10-12 Vicodin a day to combat the pain. I would eventually have surgery and recover, and even escape the painkillers without a monkey on my back. How I got through either, I look back somewhat and marvel.

 Flash to the present.

    It's been a month since I had been given a clean bill of health by my surgeon. That didn't mean, however, things were well. I had been given the go ahead to back to work a few months ago. That said, living in what amounts to the geographical armpit of America (or the crotch of Detroit, take your pick) doesn't leave a lot of job prospects. I found something, though, and was hoping to do something with the opportunity given despite its menial pay. Until that is, I found out that the only thing that came with a promotion was more work. Another possibly lucrative employment opportunity fell through shortly after. Needless to say, feeling a bit like crawling under a rock because I couldn't find decent gainful employment that didn't make me wonder how I would carry through the next couple of weeks until the next payday with the check in my hand for this one not even cashed yet is a bit a of an understatement. I felt like a loser.

 
Until today, that is.

 
    Nothing historic happened. Dr. Phil didn't get swallowed up by Dagon (despite my best efforts otherwise). A magical job didn't land in my lap or anything. All I did was go to one of my favorite places on earth. Some of you live near one of the big studio parks, or one of the Disneys, or maybe even a Six Flags. I got the trump card an hour from my house: Cedar Point. Some of you might shrug, guffaw, or try to tell me why I don't but when I have almost two dozen roller coasters that have all in some way, shape, or form set or broken standing records I'm going to have to call shenanigans on you sir (or madam as the case may be).

    I was with a friend and we were in line to ride the Millennium Force. It was getting on in the day and the sun was starting to get low in a cloudless sky. It was his first time on the coaster and I, in true friend fashion(tm), drug him onto the first car. It had been a couple years since I rode the coaster and forgotten how daunting the 310 foot tall hill looked when sitting at its base in the train. Going up that hill at fifteen miles an hour takes a few seconds. It gives one time to think. I looked out over Lake Erie, dotted on this flawless day by sailboats, jet skis, and ferries to the islands that sit out on her. It's amazing how much stock one can take when given a few moments of serenity on a roller coaster. We crested that first hill, and I looked down at the eighty degree drop before me.

    In reflex, I did something I'd never done on a roller coaster before: I let go and raise my hands in the air.

     I also did something I usually never do: I let go. Of all the worries, doubts, and depression that had a grip on me for the past few weeks. I let go of the grousing, bitter, and sardonic person that I am. I let go of the vitriol I usually carry in abundance. For a minute and forty five seconds today, I managed to let go of everything. Of course, it was also roughly that long after I stepped off the roller coaster that I picked it all back up again but for a few, short glorious moments today the window was open and I got to see outside of all of it.

 
    It's been a week now more or less since I was given this blog. "Set 'em up with a login and see if they can deliver brilliance!" was what was in the email. I've spent every minute since then wracking my brains, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to introduce myself to you people - hoping that I wouldn't be sacrificed on the altar of suck. I know this is a movie and pop culture website - movies, TV shows, video games, and comic books, all them represented here and represented well. Sometimes I'll write about these things. I just didn't want to open like that, though. I wanted to open with something a little more real: today, I let go; if only just for a moment.

 

Nick - I'm not sure I've delivered brilliance here, but I've at least delivered from the heart.