Profiles in Karma: I Want You Back
- By Jeremy Smith
- Published 04/19/2008
Jeremy Smith
Born in Bowling Green, Ohio, baptized in New York City and done dirty in Los Angeles, Jeremy Smith is not much for parades.
Regardless of what fate befalls my beloved Cleveland Cavaliers (and they've been embarrassing since the panic trade that brought them a done player for a dumb player), I'm going to be watching a lot of playoff basketball this spring. It's what I do. I also might buy my first firearm just to feel that steel stuffed snug in my crotch. Motherfuckers be stressin', I might need to be pressin'. Know what I'm sayin', Francis Bacon?
All that aside, I wouldn't be blogging if there weren't an urgent matter at hand, so here goes: I've been watching basketball all day, and I'm pretty sure Verizon has taken that commercial out of circulation? You know... that commercial. Oh, fine...
"Not Brad." <shiver>
Meanwhile, they've got the version with that doughy nerd running in heavy rotation. Look, if Chevrolet can ride Seger's "Like a Rock" for a fucking decade, you can at the very least favor us with that ad for the rest of the playoffs. You've got lightning in a fuckable .40 oz. bottle of Schlitz with that sucker. I've toppled furniture and stepped on my cat rushing back into the room just to catch it (even though I could calmly walk back in and run it back on the DVR). I haven't been this obsessed with a piece of advertising since "The Case of the Missing Case" (almost as baffling as the Million Dollar Mystery). Another seventy or eighty viewings, and I might've actually switched over from Sprint.
So please... bring it back. At least give me a chance to DVR it in High Def. I ache.
All that aside, I wouldn't be blogging if there weren't an urgent matter at hand, so here goes: I've been watching basketball all day, and I'm pretty sure Verizon has taken that commercial out of circulation? You know... that commercial. Oh, fine...
"Not Brad." <shiver>
Meanwhile, they've got the version with that doughy nerd running in heavy rotation. Look, if Chevrolet can ride Seger's "Like a Rock" for a fucking decade, you can at the very least favor us with that ad for the rest of the playoffs. You've got lightning in a fuckable .40 oz. bottle of Schlitz with that sucker. I've toppled furniture and stepped on my cat rushing back into the room just to catch it (even though I could calmly walk back in and run it back on the DVR). I haven't been this obsessed with a piece of advertising since "The Case of the Missing Case" (almost as baffling as the Million Dollar Mystery). Another seventy or eighty viewings, and I might've actually switched over from Sprint.
So please... bring it back. At least give me a chance to DVR it in High Def. I ache.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by Out Like Ron Harper's Knee)
Ha. I've also been a hoops nerd since a kid in 84. My interest faded a bit last couple of years-what with all my generation's stars-finally retired-but now I'm back. Interest piqued. With level of play up, and the bracket match ups close to perfect, I'll also be doing a lot of sitting in sports bars. (Alas, poor Goddard, my film festival is on hold) A final note: For a decade plus, everytime a new NBA game would come out, I'd make super teams of the all-time greats & personal faves. The Cavs were one of the most fun to tinker with. I'd roll with vintage Brad Daugherty, Mark Price, Larry Nance, T.B. ,Austin Carr, World B, And LeBron. (I mean, call me a dork, but I'd actually create Phil Hubbard out of respect, even if he just tok up an IR roster spot!) Unbeatable. Good times! Questions: Any paticular fave Cav team or player? Coach Lenny, love or hate?
Comment #2 (Posted by Jeremy Smith)
John "Hot Rod" Williams, sixth-man deluxe, was my favorite Cavalier until Wayne Embry overpaid him. I got to see Ron Harper play in college, so he was always up there, too. People forget that he was considered a superstar-in-the-making until he fucked up his knee. And I'll always go with the '88-'89 Cavs even though their run ended with "The Shot". And much respect to John Bagley!
Comment #3 (Posted by Ron Harper's Defensive Stance)
Oh Yeah, no doubt. (I'd never hate on Harper.) One of my favorite teams-a real Billy Cystal love affair-was the Clippers. It's given me more chances to be wrong than with anything else in life. When they traded for Marques Johnson And Norm Nixon-happy. When they drafted Danny Manning(my favorite college player)-overjoyed. When they pulled the Harper for Ferry & R. Williams trade-euphoric &ecstatic . Declaring we're the team of the 90's to my friends ad nausem. When Harper came over, for one brief, wild month they were awesome. Winning on the road & kicking ass. (We've just gotta motivate Benoit Benjamin, I says! Oops!) Then the injury. Ouch!!! Even with Larry Brown success was fleating. Oh well.
Comment #4 (Posted by Ron Harper's Reconstuctive Surgery)
LoL! Memories of John Bagley & Mel Turpin! I loved Bags. It was hysterical when he balooned up. Nothin funnier than a fat man running the fast break!
Comment #5 (Posted by Bobby Phills Memorial Society)
Q: Lenny Wilkens: genius or sell-out? (I hear a lot of Cavs fans blame him for the late 80's-early 90's failings. i love him from back in his smooth cool Sonics hey day. And as an Atlanta native he brought us brief success in the late 90's. He did seem to have an irrational love for white pseudo-talents like Ehlo & Ferry. I stand behind him as my all time fave coach. Let me guess you're a Fratello guy!)
Comment #6 (Posted by Jeremy Smith)
My biggest problem with Lenny was his stubborn belief that the more he ran Craig "The Human Bruise" Ehlo at Michael Jordan, the more likely he was to shut him down. Even after the shot, he often used Ehlo as a one-man double-team. Everything after the 69-point game is a blur; that was the night I knew the Bulls had passed the Cavs. Still, Lenny's teams were much more fun to watch than Fratello's. (BTW, I often wonder what would've happened if Z and Brevin Knight hadn't been so injury prone, and Shawn Kemp not so eating prone. With Derek Anderson, Bob Sura and Wesley Person, they had the makings of an interesting team.)
Comment #7 (Posted by Still Reads His Old Basketball Digests)
Yeah, that whole Shawn Kemp thing was a disappointment. Not many people go from one of the coolest guys in the league to fat washed up joke in two seasons. He found a way. I always wonder what would've happened if you guys had kept KJ. A pretty badass 3-guard rotation with Price & Harper to take on Pistons + Bulls.
Comment #8 (Posted by Amazing Grace & Chuck)
That Spurs-Suns was a hellavu game, huh! (Double OT) I've gone from hating the Daddy, to rooting for him. He's the last old-school guy standing!
Comment #9 (Posted by Still Booing Jon Koncak)
Hard to believe it's been twenty years since Dominique Wilkins v.s. Larry Bird. Tonight the rematch. Jesus Shuttlesworth & K.G. vs the new Atlanta Air Force. Can we shock the world? (And hey, who needs Chris Paul-we've got Marvin Williams! )
Comment #10 (Posted by Jeremy Smith)
"Amazing Grace & Chuck". Heh. <holds up three fingers, ends threat of nuclear war> Here's hoping for a replay of the '94 Nuggets-Sonics series. Josh Smith is your LaPhonso Ellis! I'm ready to Mutombo!
Comment #11 (Posted by Still Booing Isaiah Rider)
Oh yeah! I'm feelin' ya! Here's hoping your Cavs take it to the Wiz. May King James go off like Elgin Baylor. <And why never a nobel peace prize for Alex English?! >
Comment #12 (Posted by Still using Dominique's Hair Care Products)
Hope we have a Brian Williams emerge.
Comment #13 (Posted by Kurtis Blow)
I never watch Cleveland. I know Bron Bron is good but I hate when people say hes better than Jordan. He's not even Kobe yet.
