Rollin' In My Six Fo: Toon Fundamentalism 101
- By David Oliver
- Published 03/21/2008
David Oliver
No information on David Oliver is available. In fact, CHUD.com and its affiliates disavow any and all connection with him whatsoever.
I've had a lot of fun reading the talkbacks in the last couple of days with some people blowing their wigs about the number of cartoon DVD reviews the gang and I have done in the last week or so. I myself have slogged through seven of them this week and my man Anderson has posted up quite a few as well. Everything from George of the Jungle, to Scooby Doo to Smurfs to Charlie Brown. People seem to be wondering if CHUD is being hijacked by toons.
Some talkbackers - as some talkbackers are known to do - have come out against this with a fervor I haven't seen...or have I?
Yes, as a matter of fact I have: last year when Muslims were ready to burn Europe to ashes over a cartoon depiction of Mohammed. The Danish guy who drew him has had death threats out the wazoo. The Middle East massed by the hundreds of thousands to burn flags in effigy. Now I don't pretend to understand any of this, but one thing I knew long before any of that occurred, it's probably best not to piss off people who are literally willing to die - and more important to kill - over their beliefs.
Now here at CHUD, we don't have anything quite as incendiary as that going on, but the anti-toon talkback has been pretty damn entertaining. Allow me to do a bit of schoolin' on the whole review process:
1. Studios send us their swag to review. Some of it, like Bourne Ultimatum, rules the earth. Some of it, like The Lair (yes I was the one who had to brave - and I mean BRAVE - that review) make you want to run out of your domicile screaming. But what the studios send us is what goes up on the site. In this recent case, it's been a lot of toons.
2. One the discs come, we choose the ones we want to do. In cases where there's a popular disc up for grabs, there may be some random bloodletting in the scramble to get it. But generally, we receive the discs we want if we get to them in time.
3. There are plenty of discs no one wants. But they have to be reviewed. 'Cause that's what we do here. So we man up (or in Eileen's case woman up) and do the job.
4. We watch the discs and throw our opinions up in cyberspace for all the world to see. I've checked out CHUD in both Europe and Africa, so I do mean the world.
5. Talkbackers - if they feel so inclined - either praise us, make a random comment about the show / movie / toon, or tell us to fuck ourselves for our said opinions. That's the fun part.
All of this is subjective bullshit anyway. We like something, you don't. And that matters how exactly...? Yet with all of the crap going on in the world, sometimes we reviewers get called names or bedeviled by anonymous posters with jerkoff monikers. My ultimate thinking is: Cool, that's the gig. That's CHUD. That's the internet. That's life. I have no prob with that. In fact I love that.
So basically, what I'm trying to impart here in my own convoluted way is that it's all good. Tell us to fuck ourselves if you want. Tell us you like our stuff if you want. Make random comments if you want. But just do it on an informed basis. We review what comes down the pike. Decisions on whom to eliminate from talkbacks - if any such decisions are made - are done at higher air than we reviewers generally breathe. I believe it comes from a certain threshold of douchebaggedness that is achieved by a talkbacker in order to qualify for that honor. Apparently some of you have indeed triumphed in that regard, and I applaud your success.
And CHUD's not being taken over by toons, FYI. CHUD reviewers do this because we love it, not for money (unless I missed something at the last staff meeting). We do it for the talkbacks, for the occasional free swag. And ultimately, I don't care that you have something to say, only that you say it.
Some talkbackers - as some talkbackers are known to do - have come out against this with a fervor I haven't seen...or have I?
Yes, as a matter of fact I have: last year when Muslims were ready to burn Europe to ashes over a cartoon depiction of Mohammed. The Danish guy who drew him has had death threats out the wazoo. The Middle East massed by the hundreds of thousands to burn flags in effigy. Now I don't pretend to understand any of this, but one thing I knew long before any of that occurred, it's probably best not to piss off people who are literally willing to die - and more important to kill - over their beliefs.
Now here at CHUD, we don't have anything quite as incendiary as that going on, but the anti-toon talkback has been pretty damn entertaining. Allow me to do a bit of schoolin' on the whole review process:
1. Studios send us their swag to review. Some of it, like Bourne Ultimatum, rules the earth. Some of it, like The Lair (yes I was the one who had to brave - and I mean BRAVE - that review) make you want to run out of your domicile screaming. But what the studios send us is what goes up on the site. In this recent case, it's been a lot of toons.
2. One the discs come, we choose the ones we want to do. In cases where there's a popular disc up for grabs, there may be some random bloodletting in the scramble to get it. But generally, we receive the discs we want if we get to them in time.
3. There are plenty of discs no one wants. But they have to be reviewed. 'Cause that's what we do here. So we man up (or in Eileen's case woman up) and do the job.
4. We watch the discs and throw our opinions up in cyberspace for all the world to see. I've checked out CHUD in both Europe and Africa, so I do mean the world.
5. Talkbackers - if they feel so inclined - either praise us, make a random comment about the show / movie / toon, or tell us to fuck ourselves for our said opinions. That's the fun part.
All of this is subjective bullshit anyway. We like something, you don't. And that matters how exactly...? Yet with all of the crap going on in the world, sometimes we reviewers get called names or bedeviled by anonymous posters with jerkoff monikers. My ultimate thinking is: Cool, that's the gig. That's CHUD. That's the internet. That's life. I have no prob with that. In fact I love that.
So basically, what I'm trying to impart here in my own convoluted way is that it's all good. Tell us to fuck ourselves if you want. Tell us you like our stuff if you want. Make random comments if you want. But just do it on an informed basis. We review what comes down the pike. Decisions on whom to eliminate from talkbacks - if any such decisions are made - are done at higher air than we reviewers generally breathe. I believe it comes from a certain threshold of douchebaggedness that is achieved by a talkbacker in order to qualify for that honor. Apparently some of you have indeed triumphed in that regard, and I applaud your success.
And CHUD's not being taken over by toons, FYI. CHUD reviewers do this because we love it, not for money (unless I missed something at the last staff meeting). We do it for the talkbacks, for the occasional free swag. And ultimately, I don't care that you have something to say, only that you say it.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by leeVSbenway)
OK, I'll bite...fuck you and your said opinions.
Comment #2 (Posted by A Customer)
Nice blog, Dave. I appreciate the shout out to the talkbacks. Thanks for not lumping us and the trolls all together. Here's my suggestion of the day: why not do multiple reviews of the cooler DVDs(Bourne Ult., American Gangster)and phase out more of the lame(The Smurfs, really?). If you all ignored the shit no one cares about, maybe the studios will take the challenge and send you higher end titles. Also do you guys get releases from Blue Underground & Anchor Bay? I'd love to see more reviews of the cult/underground classics. Thanks.
Comment #3 (Posted by David Oliver)
leeVSbenway: It means a lot that you'd take the time to say that. Same to you. A Customer: Thank you. That's actually a good suggestion. Although we're fairly limited by the number of copies we receive of a film, and multiple reviews, although Bourne would be a good one, are usually saved for the really big titles, of which the most recent was No Country For Old Men. If stuff like Smurfs comes in, its usually through the workings of the CHUD big dogs and the studios, so if they're here, we've taken the responsibility to review them. At the end of the day, it comes down to credibility. Do we do what we say we're going to do to the studios, or do we jack them over? Nick's got one of the best reps on the internet and those of us that work for him don't want to let him down. Even the shit has to be reviewed, so that's what we do. As for Blue Underground and Anchor Bay, I don't know about the former, but I've done a review on Xena and one on Highlander: The Series from Anchor Bay and those f-ers were loaded to the gills with goodies. I haven't seen much of their indie stuff though. Thanks for the response.
Comment #4 (Posted by VoiceOfReason)
This idea that CHUD is somehow obliged to cover every single disc that gets sent is bullshit. You've signed no contract with the PR companies - they mail out dozens, even hundreds, of these discs in the hope of generating coverage. There's no obligation on the part of the media outlet involved, and to assume there is creates a very dangerous precedent in the relationship between press and PR. Unless you've specifically requested a disc for review, they're sending them out as a matter of routine - not "Gosh, CHUD better dedicate some serious front page space to The Complete Inch High Private Eye Collection". If this issue keeps coming up its because this site desperately needs an editorial policy. "We'll cover anything" is no policy at all. If there are pangs of guilt over not using something that's been sent, email the people responsible and say that Regis Philbin's Holiday Hogmanay Special Edition isn't needed. Especially since the botched redesign, which has reduced the number of headline slots on the left to just 12. When half of those are filled up with reviews of She-Ra: Princess of Power Volume 1, the good stuff - the actual news and theatrical reviews that define the site and keep readers coming back - vanish off the bottom all too quickly. Forcing readers to click through to the news archive just to read material that may not even be a day old, just to fulfil some imaginary obligation to DVD PR people, is ridiculous. The site should serve the readers, not the PR. That's just good business sense. If CHUD's traffic is strong and its audience is valued, no studio would refuse to send a copy of some blockbuster release just because you didn't write up some catalogue title nobody gives a shit about.
Comment #5 (Posted by JeffBeckGroup)
{Re: VoiceOfReason}Truth.
Comment #6 (Posted by David Oliver)
Re: VoiceOfReason: Hey, those are all excellent points you made there. All I can say to the fact is that the deals / understandings / agreements that are made between CHUD and the studios to review the discs are done at higher levels than I run around in. But however the agreements are made, when the discs are sent, we have taken a responsibility to review them, and that's what the DVD review crew and I try to do to the best of our ability, and make them entertaining for you, the readers. Sometimes that involves a gaggle of stuff like toon DVDs. I don't think we have a "will review anything policy", but what we agree to review, we do. As far as reviews of crap DVDs pushing more vital news items and the like to the bottom and off the screen, that's going to happen anyway, because we have a lot of talented writers here and they're always throwing up a pile of content for the site. I can come back after a couple of hours and see a review I just did pushed to the bottom by a dozen news items that Russ, Devin, Nick, Jeremy and all the other big dogs are lobbing up on the site. I also think that they're still working on making the search articles features better and expanding the amount of space on the front page for news items. So the point ultimately I'm trying to make in all this is that however the discs end up at CHUD headquarters, me and the guys try our best to uphold our commitment to get them reviewed as timely and hopefully as entertaining as possible.
Comment #7 (Posted by You're A Customer/Give The People)
Thanks again for your responses, David. it's appreciated you took the time. I reiterate the call for multiple reviews/perspectives on the prestigious or cool titles.
Comment #8 (Posted by David Oliver)
And thank you sir. I assure you, the CHUD brass, including Nick, monitor these talkbacks very closely and I'm sure that they take the concerns of Chewers like yourself into consideration to try to improve things for the site and the readers. Peace out.






