I’ve had a subscription to Entertainment Weekly for 14 years, and every year I question whether or not I want to renew it. I always do, of course. Mainly out of momentum. Also the magazine is the perfect thing to read while taking a shit (short breezy articles; you don’t want to get caught up in what you’re reading when you should be wiping).

I have my renewal form sitting on my coffee table currently, and this may finally be the year I cut the cord.

I was 16 when I started my subscription. My first issue had Howard Stern on the cover (not sure why I remember this). And for a while I really dug the magazine. I've always viewed it as light reading. I'm not expecting thought-provoking pieces. But more and more it seems to cross that line from puff-piece pop into almost unforgivable inanity. Case in point, the newest issue - with the "Seinfeld" reunion on the cover -  and its article about the reaction to the Avatar footage.

“Now that film footage has been lauded by fans, this massive risk looks like it may pay off.”

That's in the damn headline. "Lauded by fans" ...really?

They also give us such stellar 'fan' quotes as, "It was awesome. I was like, 'No, no, don't stop the scene now,'" from some random dude who attended one of the IMAX screenings. Thanks some random dude! I want to read all his reviews now.

From reading message boards (including our illustrious one here at CHUD) there’s an undeniably large community out there who found the Avatar footage disappointing. I haven't talked to one person in real life who loved the footage either. In fact, the only nod they give to the idea that some people were underwhelmed by what they saw is to note that, "While some naysayers called the dialogue cheesy, other audience members were blown away." So they acknowledge the 'naysayers' in a sentence that is ultimately praising the footage again. How even handed.

This piece was really symptomatic of what drives me nuts about EW. The whole thing feels ass-kissy, like they're just a part of the studio's hype-machine. I'm sure tons of people did love the footage. But focusing only on the good destroys the credibility of EW as a source of entertainment news.

The weirdest thing about EW is that I'm not really sure who it's aimed at exactly. I could ignore their unlikable quirks if I could simply chalk them up to being mass-appeal grabbers - as a fringe culture loving person, I've long grown accustomed to having to hear about stuff "normal" people like - but EW loves focusing on things like "Gossip Girl," that no one even watches. It's like they just want to be 'hip.' Yet they also can seem bizarrely unhip, like when mentioning Avatar's Comic-Con screening: "Cameron, of course, has serious cred with the geek contingent thanks to Aliens and The Terminator franchise."

Huh?

That's Cameron's entire career outside of Titanic. Looking at his filmography - Piranha II, Aliens, Terminator 1&2, Abyss, True Lies -  Titanic is the anomaly here. He makes genre movies. Is EW's audience a bunch of teens for whom Titanic is the only Cameron movie they've seen? Wait a minute...

I was a teenager when I most liked EW. They talk about "Gossip Girl" and Demi Lovato all the time... it's all coming together now...

I have outgrown EW! Okay. This is exciting. I may finally have the strength to not-renew my subscription.

Pray for me Chewers, pray for me.