Teachers Have Email?

I skipped over a hundred days of school over the last two years of my high school experience [might be why I graduated in summer school!]. I'm not ashamed of it, don't regret a moment of it. I'm just saying...

Well, I can think of several moments I regret... but they all coincide with how I spent my time while not at school, not the fact that I was missing it. The less I say the better so as to preserve the implied innocence of the hardly innocent. I still can't believe we did that on Devil Worship Road, and when the police got there...

The point is... there needs to be a disconnect during high school between the family of the student and the faculty except on those instances where the two are supposed to coincide. Parent/Teacher meetings, school functions, when the parents come home to find the gym teacher ejaculating onto their daughter's shoulder [we had a gym coach who allegedly had a little student harem in my day], and the like. There needs to be a disconnect because that tiny amount of freedom is where we get to define our own parameters and learn from our own lessons with the least repercussions. There are still repercussions (jail stints, unplanned kids, gender reassignment, religious zeal), but every step forward carries more weight. College, fun but you have to focus lest you be makin' the donuts. After college, silly things like rent and survival bills. Then there's that whole having a family nonsense.

There are exceptions of course. I cross paths sometimes with folks who are pressing 40 and still living paycheck to paycheck thanks to nightly happy hours and revolving doors of roommates [who knows, they may have the right idea]. These people have a fun life and numerous sexual partners of different shapes, colors, and sizes but there's a chance they may have missed a valuable lesson somewhere along the line.

But high school, you need a little string. To see what happens. How you use that freedom. I used mine foolishly, but I only regret it when the AIDS flares up when a cold front moves in.

Teachers have email now. And the email addresses of parents. And vice versa. Instantaneously, they can communicate. For instance, a child's mother can find out that he made shiss all over the industrial arts room before the janitor has even had a chance to decipher what percentage of each there is in the mess. They can know if you're skipping school before you've even had a chance to get her bra off in the tool shed behind her parents' place. Or in my case, before you've disproven the presence of El Chupacabra in Alpharetta, GA.

Teachers reaching out to parents on a whim. That's bullshit. And I'm the father of a five year old girl who is guaranteed to have a troublesome decade ahead of him.

Just like church and state should be separated [in my opinion by solar systems], so too should the line of communication between teacher and parent. Unless it helps. If a teacher sees the next great author or spaceship rider or assassin of NASCAR drivers in a child, maybe then they should be able to make contact. But the whole Big Brother thing? Too early. High schoolers may think they're grown up and the center of the universe but in reality they're about ten or fifteen really good unsupervised fuck-ups from having even the faintest clue about how fun AND dangerous freedom can be.

Fuck a teacher's email address in the ass.

Today's Moments:
  • I won $704 in Keno yesterday, which was cool. Until I went to claim it and saw the saddest form of life claiming her 'winnings' before shambling to her 1969 Evil Dead Car and a future of hacking coughs and stinking out the ass.

  • The CHUD/X-Factor softball team pulled out a 15-14 victory last night with a cobbled together lineup and their coach nursing a massive migraine. At least Steve Murphy didn't strike out. Swinging. Again.

  • I still need two fantasy baseball players.

  • I decided to do a small run of Lobster CD's. Legit. With a UPC and everything. It'd be neat if you got one.