Dispatches from... The Recession Depression.
- By Sean Gardner
- Published 12/1/2008
Sean Gardner
Sean dislikes writing bios, so he has left the duties to his brother, Matthew.
Sean appeared from nowhere shortly after the Christmas of 1981. He was gooey, listless and an attention grabber from day one. He once filled bottles of sand, loaded them into a briefcase and dramatically attempted to run away. We found him an hour later on the corner of the street, eating the sand, too lazy to walk another step. I've plotted his murder for years, but he continues to foil them with the aid of his lucky patch of chest hair and cunning sidekicks.
So we made it.
Hence the gap in coverage on this here blog. But yes, the long haul is over.
By that, I mean to say that we have indeed found a place to live, with a very cool roomie and reasonable rent. We've moved our shit in (most of which is something like 1,000 records and 200 DVD's) and it all fit inside the three floor walk-up.
The other part of the haul is still hauling. And by that, I mean the job part. Given our excessively terrible timing for relocation, we're finding jobs hard to come by. Yet still, there is hope.
Obama.
I'm counting on him to hook me up. In fact, Ive decided that all problems are to be solved by our man.
An example, I was at the post office the other day, waiting on line for upward of an hour just to pick up a package. That's when I decided to call for help. He never did come, but I cried out "Yes We Can!" nonetheless, picturing our President-Elect coming running to our rescue. Maybe opening an extra window, moving the line along at a speedier pace.
Such would be a thing of beauty. And so I've decided that every situation, regardless of how wasteful it may be for him, is a time for change.
Need an organ? Yes We Can! He'll give you an extra liver, he produces them for hobby!
Run out of toilet paper mid-dumpage? Yes We Can! Pockets full of the fluffy tissue follow him wherever he goes.
Trampled to death by gluttonous Black Friday shoppers? Um...
Okay, he can't do EVERYTHING.
But he can do at least one thing. Employ me. Or, you know, just hook me up. You've got connections with some high powered people, let me get you on my references sheet and I'll take it from there. When they call you and ask you if I'm responsible, just give 'em the old "Yes We Can!"
Sure, it makes no sense, but it will work, I'm confident.
And either way, it's gotta work better than this Craigslist bullshit.
