Short people, long-legged people -- together at last!
- By Brandon Marcus
- Published 09/17/2008
Brandon Marcus
Brandon was raised in the forests of Northern California and, after 20 years, made his way to the deserts of Southern California, where he has taken up writing full time. Aside from writing short stories, Brandon is a film-maker, producer and editor (only if he has to). Brandon is told that his literary influences are quite obvious: King, Serling, Bradbury and way too many graphic novels - all of which contributed to the warped, disturbed man he has become today.
God bless Guinness, bringing odd people together for over fifty years!
Today, at the unveiling of the newest edition of The Guinness Book of World Records, He Pingping of China and Svetlana Pankratova of Spain met. Pankratova has the world longest legs (more than four feet!) and Pingping (perhaps the greatest last name of all time) is only 2 ft. 5.37 inches tall. He's a small man and she's an average woman with long legs. But today -- and only today -- they are a symbol of unity. Even these two odd-looking people can join to...promote a book.
I used to read Guinness all the time, mostly to get creeped out. But in my older age, I see that the book is used to weird people out or make them feel better about their average lives. Hey, I might lose my house but at least I'm not 2 feet tall! I may have severe acne but look at that freak's fingernails!
But I digress.
This was a publicity stunt for the newest edition of Guinness, which hits bookstores tomorrow (as if we weren't all going to be in line anyway). The only way that this event could've been better would have been to see both He and Svetlana in a big hot-air balloon, or maybe riding an elephant, or squirting milk out of their eyes. And Criss Angel could have been there. Oh, and the cast of Lost (the most downloaded show of all time, according to the book). Glorious times it would have been.
And another note: He is in the book, but not as the world's smallest man. He is the world's smallest man who can walk. That means that in some foreign country lays a man, too small to walk, wishing that it was he looking up a woman's skirt. What shit luck.
Today, at the unveiling of the newest edition of The Guinness Book of World Records, He Pingping of China and Svetlana Pankratova of Spain met. Pankratova has the world longest legs (more than four feet!) and Pingping (perhaps the greatest last name of all time) is only 2 ft. 5.37 inches tall. He's a small man and she's an average woman with long legs. But today -- and only today -- they are a symbol of unity. Even these two odd-looking people can join to...promote a book.
I used to read Guinness all the time, mostly to get creeped out. But in my older age, I see that the book is used to weird people out or make them feel better about their average lives. Hey, I might lose my house but at least I'm not 2 feet tall! I may have severe acne but look at that freak's fingernails!
But I digress.
This was a publicity stunt for the newest edition of Guinness, which hits bookstores tomorrow (as if we weren't all going to be in line anyway). The only way that this event could've been better would have been to see both He and Svetlana in a big hot-air balloon, or maybe riding an elephant, or squirting milk out of their eyes. And Criss Angel could have been there. Oh, and the cast of Lost (the most downloaded show of all time, according to the book). Glorious times it would have been.
And another note: He is in the book, but not as the world's smallest man. He is the world's smallest man who can walk. That means that in some foreign country lays a man, too small to walk, wishing that it was he looking up a woman's skirt. What shit luck.
