http://chud.com/articles en-us N/A nicknunziata@gmail.com Sat, 21 Nov 2009 11:39:42 EST 20 http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1267/Random-Setting---The-Blog--A-Very-Random-Edition.html
God of Subpoenas

Earlier this week, two screenwriters sued Sony and David fuckin' Jaffe in Federal Court for allegedly stealing their idea for God of War.  The two scribes allege that the blockbuster hit borrowed plot elements (Zeus and Athena send a mortal to stop Ares' army), Kratos' signature weapons and various game maps (seriously) from their screenplay Olympiad, which the plaintiffs submitted to Sony in 2002.

Sony and Jaffe responded to suit by file a response stating that Greek Mythology lies in the public domain and that if Sony and Jaffe ripped off anything it was Rygar.

I set-up a girl and I liked it

I see myself as a very "live and let live" type of person.  Someone likes Applebees, that's fine.  I'd rather eat rat poison than go to Applebees, but people who watch pro-wrestling and play kiddie video games, while listening to Chicago's Greatest Hits shouldn't throw stones.  Even when someone is driving while talking on their cell phone, despite the inherent danger (I think I overheard Robin Quivers mention that it's more dangerous than driving drunk or high) I give them the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe the person can handle the multi-tasking, who am I to judge. However, today a young woman (who I will refer to as "Idiot") proved my philosophy has its limits.

After picking up dinner, I'm was at a stop sign trying to make a right-turn onto a busy road.  Idiot, after drifting into the intersection, while trying to make a call on her mobile, looks-up, stops short and honks her horn at me, making a nasty "what do you want me to do" motion with her arms.  Aggravated, I pulled in front , but wisely decided to keep an eye on her.  In the next three minutes, Idiot still gabbing away on her phone, almost rear-ends me not once, not twice, but thrice.  After the third near mishap, I decide that enough is enough.

One of the beneficial aspects of living in a small suburban area is that you learn the speed traps.  As I continued down the road, while Idiot discussed the existence of black holes, I see one of these very predictable speed traps.  Slowing down so that Idiot will appear to be tailgating me, I flash my high-beams at the officer while pointing back at Idiot, oblivious to the unfolding events.  Immediately, lights go on and Idiot is on the side of the road explaining her story to the Law.

I don't know if she got a ticket or not, but being stopped probably ruined her evening and that was enough for me.

Looking for Comedy in the Video Game World

I have a simple question, where is the comedy in video game universe?  Honestly, is Penny Arcade the best the internets can produce in terms of comedy?  And before anyone defends Penny Arcade here is a simple fact: Penny Arcade is not funny.  It approaches funny from time to time, but just because the topic of an attempted joke regards video games doesn't make it funny.  What is worse, is that video game coverage screams for light-hearted coverage.  If politics, movies and tv allow for thoughtful, enlightening and funny commentary, certainly a media like video games, which frankly on the bottom of the totem-pole, can inspire someone to have a sense of humor.

Now while Alex makes me laugh on a regular basis with his articles and reviews, his fiance tells me that I can't chain him to a computer and have him entertain me.  Meanwhile, Kotaku touches upon funny every-so-often, Joystiq has its head up its ass, Destructoid thinks topics are funny for all the wrong reasons and the web-comics like the above-mentioned Penny Arcade completely miss the mark.  So the question remains, where is the funny?

That is all, for now.
]]> no@spam.com (Jon Cassady) Thu, 18 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1267/Random-Setting---The-Blog--A-Very-Random-Edition.html http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1179/Random-Setting---The-Blog--Thinking-of-You.html
Fortunately, we had the uplifting support of friends of family.  Some visited, some shared stories, some took our minds off it and some simple wrote a heartfelt note which let us know that they cared.  Of course, not all of the responses were welcome.  One in particular was from the partner at my former law firm, who after I explained what had happen said "so you have problems.  Who cares?  How is that my problem?"  That response (and my subsequent response) are major contributing factors to my departure from the firm.  But today, I have found the worst response possible.

Earlier today, a friend of mine forwarded this entry from VH1's Best Week Ever Blog.  The blog discusses a site which sells an E-card for miscarriages. Yeah, miscarriages.  Here are the images you can choose from:



Oh, but that's not all, it comes with the following song selections:

Marriage of Figaro
Beetlejuice Theme
Bohemian Rhapsody
Classic Dixieland
Moon River
Muppets Title Theme
Stairway To Heaven
We Are The Champions
Yesterday

(This is all included in the VH1 blog).

First of all, why stop at those songs?  Why not include the Star Wars Cantina or  Sister Christian (You're Mooootoring)?  Better yet, why not make that first pic animated and have it dance to the Gremlins theme.  "Awe, my dead baby dances like Gizmo."

At the time of the miscarriage, if I had received such an obvious lazy gesture out of some feeling obligation as the above E-card, I would have found that person and murdered them.  Then I would have found a way to resurrect them, just to give them a terminal illness.  Finally, I would have sent them an E-card saying "sorry for giving you that terminal illness." 

But what is most scary, this is how people say "thinking of you."

That's all for now.
]]> no@spam.com (Jon Cassady) Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1179/Random-Setting---The-Blog--Thinking-of-You.html http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1153/Random-Setting---The-Blog--The-Games-of-Yesteryear.html Bionic Commando came out for the NES, it was heavily promoted in Nintendo Power, which to me was the source of gaming news .  When it finally arrived, I rented it (as I did with all games at the time).  After five minutes, I became utterly frustrated with the lack of jump button and promptly returned the game.  At ten, the lack of jump button was a deal breaker.

So the years passed, and after passing on remake after remake, while discussing whether Braid was worth the purchase, Alex convinced me to try the game out.  For the past few days I've been playing a bunch of Bionic Commando: Rearmed.  If you want the in-and-outs of the game, read Alex's great review.

However, this isn't a second love letter to Rearmed.  Instead, as I went through Reamred, I realized how the motivations of gamers have changed over the past thirty years; and in turn, changed the focus of the video game.

In the beginning, there were cabinets, Ataris, Colecovisions and whatever other home system that can be recalled.  Think back, if you were alive, to what was shown on an arcade game before playing it. First, there would be some in game action, then a picture or two and then ultimately the high score list.  Always the high score list.  High score was the ultimate barometer of gaming ability.  Games didn't have an end.  Sure, Mario saved Pauline,* but she was always recaptured three seconds later.

Moving into the 8-bit era, the focus changed.  The talk on the playground became, how far did you get into Mario?  Have you made it to the Second Quest?  Gamers became less concerned with the scoreboard and obsessed with sticking it to Dr. Wily.  This was also the beginning of the RPG and the sports game.  The goal in those games was simple, win.  As for the reason for the shift, it's simple.  Consoles didn't save high scores.  If a gamer was looking for something more, he tried to beat games as quickly as possible, like the Mario Speed Run or the low-level RPG missions.

But the 16-bit era added more content to the game.  Platformers offered a bonus level or two, like Super Mario World's Special Area, RPGs offered the side-quest.  Focus on "scoring" had evaporated, and "beating" the game was the only goal.

As the gamer grew up, games added more and more sidequests, optional levels and unlockables.  Instead of an optional area, optional worlds became the norm.  To use Super Mario 64 as an example, a large chunk of the game's levels were optional.   Large portions of the game were locked away from the gamer.  The goal, as such, became shift from beating the game, but to unlocking the game.  And that's where the current focus began.

The modern game, in general (with some exceptions), focuses on the unlockable, rather than a satisfying conclusion.  "Beating" the game means virtually nothing anymore.  Look at Mario Galaxy.  To beat the game, a gamer need only beat half the levels.  The modern RPGer plays the "main quest" for 30 - 40 hours and 40 - 60 hours on optional areas. 

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy the more bang for the buck, but there has been an effect on games.  If a gamer doesn't "beat" a game, it means either he got bored or were playing the game for the achievements, trophies or picture of Mario with a star.  No longer is the main "quest" of the game near difficult, it's mearly the prelude to more items, unlockables and achievements.  Games, even the most basic 8-bit platformer told a story or least tried to tell one.  The gamer endured many tests of testing reflexes and puzzle-solving to the ultimate conclusion, which was the end of the game.  Now the end comes when the gamer collects 20 hardhats on Super-Difficult.  Games end when something shinier distracts the gamer.

And I hadn't been so reminded of this fact when playing Rearmed.  There are upgrades, optional areas and hidden items, but in the end, the most difficult area is the final area.  The finally level is by far the most difficult test of the game.   I haven't cursed, tantrumed and carried on over a game in ages.  Such were the games of the 8-bit era.  Think Ninja Gaiden for this generation is tough?  Try trying to dodge tens of fireballs knowing that you have no continues left and one wrong move with ruin four hours work. 

At a time where technology allows games to test reflexes and wits, while reaching the gamer through a real story, instead, the challenge of the modern game is attrition.  How long are you willing to grind gathering the 50 shards of light, to open the are to collect 20 stars, which allows you to go through some maze, to unlock a fifty point achievement?

I understand the past is the past, and there are games like Ninja Gaiden and Bioshock, which focus on difficulty and conclusion, but as they say: they don't make them like they use to.

That's all for now

*Whatever happened to Pauline?  Did her and Mario break up before Princess Peach or was he a two-timer.  Eh, she's probably better off.  Dating an Italian plumber from Brooklyn can't be a pleasure cruise.  You just know that Peach is getting a pop in the mouth everytime a ravioli is cold in the middle.  Maybe she ended up in a women's support group for video game characters with Nathan Spencer's wife, Edward the Bard and the ladies of Golgo 13.



]]> no@spam.com (Jon Cassady) Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1153/Random-Setting---The-Blog--The-Games-of-Yesteryear.html http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1152/Random-Setting---The-Blog--Introduction.html Random Setting.  Originally it was a column for off-beat news stories, undeserving of a full-fledged column, but interesting enough to warrant mention (and often ripe for offensive lampoon).  After some intitial success (and proding from some editors whose opinions I respect), the column became more of a mix of mini-game reviews and serious commentaries mixed in with ultra-crude jokes.

As life (get ready for the sports metaphor) threw a series of nasty off-speed pitches, my contributions to the Main Page became more and more infrequent.  Given my obsessive nature with ensuring a lack of typos, proper grammer (something I failed at, repeatedly) and jokes that "worked"  (it's amazing to see how many ways there are to write a Gary Glitter joke), a thousand word column took hours of editing.  Additionally, and more importantly,  as I was dealing with life, Alex and Russ ramped up serious game (and excellent) coverage to the point that my puerile humor seemed a bit out of place.  Gladly, I faded away to deal with my own real life issues.

Over the past month, fortunately, my life has begun to work out and the Chud Blogs have been gaining steam.  As opposed to the Main Page, which should be reserved for the consistent A-plus material so often churned out by the writers, the blogs exist for us to shoot of the hip.  Something that is right up my alley.

As video games are something I'm highly interested in, it will be often the focus of the blog.  But as this is supposed to be self-interested, I'll often offer my take on movies, tv, politics, life, hell whatever I'm thinking and what might be interesting to the community, while ripping-off the gimmicks of every writer who has ever influenced me.  I'll try to update it more than once a week, but at the sacrifice of "shine."  There will be typos, horrible grammar and some unrefined tasteless jokes. 

Hopefully, some (if not all) these posts will lead to discussions on the boards.  Please feel free to let it fly there.   Finally, it's good to be back.

That's all for now.


]]> no@spam.com (Jon Cassady) Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1152/Random-Setting---The-Blog--Introduction.html