<![CDATA[CHUD.com - A Movie Website and SO MUCH MORE. - Blogs]]> http://chud.com/articles en-us N/A nicknunziata@gmail.com Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:45:05 EST 20 <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: Olivia]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1896/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Olivia.html
I went to Oahu last December.  Loved it.  Highly recommend you go if you get the chance. 

Riding my motorcycle exclusively now because my 1964 Plymouth is leaking every fluid known to man. 

Oh, and then there's this:


Olivia Wanjiku Davis








Yes, I have reproduced.

First, let me put it out there that I wasn't the biggest fan of babies.  Did not want to be around them.  Didn't enjoy the smell, the wailing, nor the idiots that people usually turn into when they get around them.  Having a kid was a big contention for me for the longest time.  When my wife told me last year what was in store, I was much of the mixed emotions.  A guy at work told me though that I would "get it" when I saw her.

He was right.

Thing is, this was a very scary delivery.  My daughter was 11 days overdue when we decided that it was time to force the issue.  But that turned into an emergency C-section and a very scary ten minutes when there was no sound from my girl.  But eventually that sound came and she was whisked up to the NICU for a five day stay with respiratory problems.  My wife didn't even get to see her for nearly 24 hours after delivering. 

On a side note, if you're in LA, I highly recommend you have your kid at Cedars-Sinai.  Excellent care.  Simply excellent.  If you're not in LA, I suggest you fly here to have your kid.

Anyway, we just brought her home yesterday and everything appears to be fine, thank God.  So just wanted to share my good fortune with you all, my way-extended family.
]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Thu, 25 Jun 2009 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1896/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Olivia.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: DirecTVergeist]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1316/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-DirecTVergeist.html Generally I don't see a lot of commercials that require comment nor debate, unless it's around Super Bowl time.  And ever since I've had a satellite DVR, I've dispensed with commercials as quickly as I can hit the fast forward button. 

DirecTV has had these series of commercials for a couple of years now where they'll bring back stars from TV shows or movies in pivotal scenes and then digitally insert the stars riffing on how all they want to do is watch DirecTV rather than doing what they were doing in said pivotal scene.  The two that immediately come to mind are Sigourney Weaver in the power loader facing off against the Alien Queen on the Sulaco in Aliens. 

Another is Robert Patrick back in liquid metal during the chopper scene in Terminator 2.  Apparently the T-1000 didn't want to whack John Connor, he just wanted to watch his big screen.  Okay, sure, why not?  Now generally I like these commercials about as much as the next guy.  They're fairly clever and unique.  So no harm no foul as far as I'm concerned.

However, the latest one is a send up of Poltergeist. This time it's with Craig T. Nelson, saying how he'll be haunted by not choosing DirecTV over cable.  Yes, this latest spot stars Craig T. Nelson...and Heather O'Rourke.  You know, the unfortunate little girl from the movie who passed away tragically 20 years ago.

Heather O'Rourke has always had a stigma around her passing, with it supposedly being related to the so-called Poltergeist Curse.  Personally, although co-star Dominique Dunne also tragically was murdered in 1982, I never subscribed much to this curse and simply chalked it up to a little girl who was the victim of an unfortunate set of circumstances with her own body and possible malpractice by a hospital. 

Of course, tragic or not, it doesn't stop corporate America from digging up her image and exploiting it to sell some friggin' dishes and some bandwidth.  And Craig T. Nelson apparently has no qualms about it.  I don't put this in the same category as that old Fred Astaire dancing with a vacuum cleaner commercial nor Paula Abdul dancing next to a young Gene Kelly.  This is something else entirely.  Something disturbing.  This is whoring out a little girl's memory for a few bucks.

Personally, I have DirecTV.  When the damn thing's working it's great.  And I've liked Craig T. Nelson in a bunch of things he's done.  But honestly, WTF?

Catch it here if you haven't already: Poltergeist DirecTV ad.


]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1316/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-DirecTVergeist.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: 300]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1297/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-300.html No, not referring to the recent Frank Miller loincloth and sandal CG fest, but the number of times I've thrown down review for Nick and you slobs who bother to read (take no offense, I'm as big a slob as any of you).

300.  I reached this milestone today.  This is more than any other DVD reviewer in CHUD history.  This includes three Veronica Mars, eight After Dark Horrorfest 2007, three Supernatural, four Smallville, four Saw, five NFL, six NBA, five Home Improvement, three Flintstones, five Dukes of Hazzard, three Desperate Housewives, three ER, and various individual reviews, including a gay vampire soap opera.  I've pretty much covered it all.

So am I writing this little bit of blog fluffery to toot my own horn?  Fuck yes I am.  300 is quite an accomplishment, for me at least.  I could try to be modest, but the hell with that.  I've worked my ass off for CHUD.  And I've been happy to do it.  I think this is the best entertainment website on the net.  Bar none.  Nick and the rest of us endeavor to continually bring you the best content we can, and not a lot of us ever get the recognition we've earned for it. 

Most of us do this gig for the love of it (and the occasional worthwhile free swag).  Beyond that, the only recompense we receive is the occasional comment from someone who took the time to opine on our musings.  My request to any and all of you is: if you feel anything for the work we do, let us know it, be it negative or positive.  It does make a dfifference to us.  I'd rather be told I suck than see a goose egg in the DVD thread (FYI, this is not an invitation to tell me I suck for the hell of it).

I do screenwriting by trade and aspiration, but it's been quite a while that I've had an actual gig.  Nick has given me an outlet to exorcise the need to vomit my pissings of consciousness to a receptive audience.  I thank him for that.  I also thank any and all of you for reading.  I hope you've been entertained at least a bit.  I've enjoyed bringing the shit I've brought to you.  And trust me, a lot of it has been pure shit.  But that's the gig.  And I've been honored to do it. 




]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Sun, 28 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1297/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-300.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: So A Guy Fondled Me The Other Day...]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1107/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-So-A-Guy-Fondled-Me-The-Other-Day.html
I did indeed go for a yearly physical recently and a couple of interesting things occurred.  One, I've had an unusual deal with the ole ticker going on where, while not serious at all, is a little weird.  At times when I'd just be sitting and watching TV or at work, my heart would suddenly noticeably amp up the pounding action, like you get right before you know something big is going to go down.  Heart palpitations if you will.  I didn't need Dr. C (not quite as Dr. J, but a good doc nonetheless), to tell me that it wasn't serious but it was curious nonetheless.  So he recommended an EKG.  I happily said OK, since I've never had one before.

Now this being 2008, I'm expecting nothing less than a sophisticated piece of equipment with digital readout, GPS, and hell, the internet, texting and MP4.  But I was surprised to find that it's still just a simple little machine with analog readout with tickertape and enough lead wires to jumpstart Seinfeld's Porsche collection.  Thankfully, the readings for mi corazon were normal.  Also, I had blood drawn for the usual tests.  My nurse was a lovely Hispanic woman named Rosa.  And the interesting thing that she said in her delightfully thick accent while sticking me almost pain-free with the needle was, "My, what lovely blood!"  After my second take at that, I'm instantly wondering if I saw her in Vampires: Los Muertos. 

However, just as I'm writing this, something not so interesting was revealed to me by said blood tests.  Rather, something alarming, but I guess not unexpected:

Cholesterol: 242
Triglycerides: 277
Bad Cholesterol: 148

I'll leave it up to you to hit up the numbers for these, but in a nutshell, I'm a lazy bastard who needs to get off his ass more, stop with the fast food, the sweet food, the fried food, etc. and get back in the gym.  Furthermore, the pack-a-day has also got to stop.  Sobering stuff for yours truly.  All of a sudden those Plavix and Lipitor commercials aren't looking so stupid.

Anyway, now I must come up with a game plan to get more active, eat better, and...god help me...stop sucking the cancer dick.

Stay tuned...
]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/1107/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-So-A-Guy-Fondled-Me-The-Other-Day.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: Hot Stinkies Are Worth It]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/830/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Hot-Stinkies-Are-Worth-It.html I've made it no secret that I am a lifelong fan of White Castles.  I've mentioned them in both blog and review.  I will always love them and I miss not having easy access to them. 

So when one is deprived of that which one loves, one is forced to seek alternatives.  Fortunately, one lives in the Los Angeles area, where one can find damn near any food one can imagine.  However, I need go no farther than my own kitchen to dive into a delectable, nay sinful, treat that comes from another shore: the Samosa.

Allow me to refer you to the following link for a breakdown of this lovely bit of wonderfulness: LINK. In a nutshell, or in a flaky dough wrapping as it turns out, the samosa is basically a homemade hot pocket, filled with such things as vegetables, peppers / chilis, or meat.  In this case, the pocket contains ground beef.  Observe today's meal with a side of corn chips:



I have the fortune of having married a wonderful woman from Kenya who, on occasion, is known to make these delectable things for yours truly.  Now samosas are generally known to come from India, and if not, then the Indians generally have the market cornered on them.  However, the fine people of Kenya have co-opted this dish as their own.  Considering that I co-opted a Kenyan for my own, I feel that in an extremely roundabout way, I'm getting back at the Indians for having co-opted our country's customer service industry.  It's a vicious cycle to be sure.

Samosas are generally taken with a spritzing of lemon juice.  However, the more adventurous can substitute said citrus for hot sauce of varying degrees.  Personally, this is my preference.  Now generally, my wife shares my taste for ground beef in that we like it spicey.  So when she prepares samosas, the ground beef is already potent enough to strip paint just from the aroma alone.  This, coupled with a hot sauce dipping, makes the samosa a dish that you won't soon forget.  To wit:



No of course, there are drawbacks.  The most notable being an almost guaranteed trip to either the bathroom or the nearest emergency room afterwards.  I myself drove to work just that much quicker this morning.  And the experience was as hot going as it was coming.

So one might ask, is a hot stinky worth enjoying a samosa (or a dozen as the case may be)?  To which I emphatically say...yes.

May you be as fortunate.

]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/830/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Hot-Stinkies-Are-Worth-It.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six-Fo: My Life Is Being Ruined By Closed Captioning]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/678/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-My-Life-Is-Being-Ruined-By-Closed-Captioning.html I'm like you. I get home after a long day of working for the man and all I want to do is drink myself stupid, watch stupid things on TV and lounge on my big, stupid, yet nonetheless overly plush sofa. I don't want to think about $5.00 gas, the war in Iraq or which bubble-headed celeb has screwed the pooch the hardest this week: Winehouse, Britney, Lohan, Jamie Lynne, yadda yadda.  I want to turn on my plasma (Vizio ain't a bad way to go, FYI), tune in the dish...if it happens to be working this week...and veg.

Yet I can't do that for certain programs because of Closed friggin' Captioning.

I personally don't speak Spanish.  Like a certain Bruce Willis character, I only speak two languages: English and Bad English.  Now, this stream of consciousness isn't even about the Spanish language so much as it is the Closed Captioning being force fed to me by certain programs on my DirecTV.  The worst offense is when I'm tuning in each week to Battlestar Galactica to find out whom Adama's either yelling at, punching out or sneering at.  At the bottom of the screen: Spanish subtitles that I can't get rid of.  Maddening.  Although now I do know what cuatro viven en secreto means.

Take for instance the most recent installment of Tonight Show With Jay Leno.  Tonight he was interviewing Anne Hathaway, who was on the show to plug the upcoming Get Smart theatrical flick.  She was wearing this little number:


Three words generally sum up her ensemble: va, va and voom.  Anne Hathaway in a strapless dress that shows off both her upper and lower attributes is pretty damn okay in my book.  Of course, Jay Leno happens to be one of the select programs where the mandatory Spanish subtitles feel the need to show themselves.  So when I'm waiting for the Hathaway one-shot close up, the best part of the interview, I get this:



And this:



With a little bit of this:



Not to mention some of this:



I say to the Closed Captioning gods out there: why are you determined to censor me from seeing the cleavage of one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood?  Why are you determined to show me that Starbuck realized Esos tres Cylons acaban de darnos la tierra? 

Why??!!

I impart this final thought to all of you Closed Captioning deity fuckers out there: Mayo un interno del corredor de la muerte le nombró el tornillo del rayo de Bubba todo de lado con un shiv hecho en casa.
]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/678/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-My-Life-Is-Being-Ruined-By-Closed-Captioning.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: Presenting... Ghettofabulousness, Vol. 4]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/514/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-4.html A buddy of mine at work sent me the following snaps, which, mediawhore that I am, simply felt the need to share with you all, with a few cogent ruminations tossed in.  They're from a site called hotghettomess.com, which aspires to convey a more positive image and message of Black Americans, frequently by showing us where we can go wrong in certain areas of our lives...like attire for instance.

Some of the following images may be disturbing.  But they're something I like to call:

GHETTOFABULOUSNESS:


It's what discerning pimps drink...



Okay, uh...not sure if this from HotGhettoMess or Craigslist.



Well, it could be worse...they could be Knicks fans...



No one was happier than me when Lil' Kim and Foxy Brown finally made nice again...


]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Tue, 03 Jun 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/514/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-4.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: Presenting... Ghettofabulousness, Vol. 3]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/494/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-3.html A buddy of mine at work sent me the following snaps, which, mediawhore that I am, simply felt the need to share with you all, with a few cogent ruminations tossed in.  They're from a site called hotghettomess.com, which aspires to convey a more positive image and message of Black Americans, frequently by showing us where we can go wrong in certain areas of our lives...like attire for instance.

Some of the following images may be disturbing.  But they're something I like to call:

GHETTOFABULOUSNESS:


"Yo, Angelina, can we talk...?"



The jury's still out on which one has the money and which one has the power...



I uh...may need a number for this one...for reference...



The caution tape isn't really necessary, but thanks for the additional warning...



Where Are They Now circa 2018: Robert Kelly...

]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Mon, 02 Jun 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/494/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-3.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: Presenting... Ghettofabulousness, Vol. 2]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/457/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-2.html A buddy of mine at work sent me the following snaps, which, mediawhore that I am, simply felt the need to share with you all, with a few cogent ruminations tossed in.  They're from a site called hotghettomess.com, which aspires to convey a more positive image and message of Black Americans, frequently by showing us where we can go wrong in certain areas of our lives...like attire for instance.

Some of the following images may be disturbing.  But they're something I like to call:

GHETTOFABULOUSNESS:



"Yes, I'd like fourteen Whoppers, six orders of fries, four orders of onion rings, seven shakes, a Diet Coke and 18-hour, cross-my-heart support..."



Not to worry, I've already got PETA on the line...



Uh...dude...Kal-El called about the boots...



Okay, I admit it...I kind of like this.



Well...it could have been worse.  It could have been... THIS...
(uh, probably NSFW)


]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/457/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-2.html <![CDATA[Rollin' In My Six Fo: Presenting... Ghettofabulousness, Vol. 1]]> http://chud.com/articles/blogs/396/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-1.html A buddy of mine at work sent me the following snaps, which, mediawhore that I am, simply felt the need to share with you all, with a few cogent ruminations tossed in.  They're from a site called hotghettomess.com, which aspires to convey a more positive image and message of Black Americans, frequently by showing us where we can go wrong in certain areas of our lives...like attire for instance.

Some of the following images may be disturbing.  But they're something I like to call:

GHETTOFABULOUSNESS:




I'd say Whitney Houston came out of that whole marriage to Bobby Brown thing pretty well all things considered...





The nice thing about the above ensemble is that you'll be safe walking home on the road afterwards.




Marv Albert lingerie package available separately.




"Where do you want me, Senator Craig?"





Umm...damn...I mean...DAMN...I got nothing else.

]]> no@spam.com (David Oliver) Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:00 EDT http://chud.com/articles/blogs/396/Rollin039-In-My-Six-Fo-Presenting-Ghettofabulousness-Vol-1.html