Sean Gardner
Sean dislikes writing bios, so he has left the duties to his brother, Matthew.Sean appeared from nowhere shortly after the Christmas of 1981. He was gooey, listless and an attention grabber from day one. He once filled bottles of sand, loaded them into a briefcase and dramatically attempted to run away. We found him an hour later on the corner of the street, eating the sand, too lazy to walk another step. I've plotted his murder for years, but he continues to foil them with the aid of his lucky patch of chest hair and cunning sidekicks.
Blogs by this Author
So Jenny dies of AIDS, right?Spoiler!Although, if you haven't seen this film yet, fuck off, I don't feel bad for ruining it for you in the slightest.Back to the topic at hand. It seems the demise of J...
It seems a few folks enjoyed the last entry of "Tarantino-ing," so I suppose I'll indulge you in another fantasy rebirth of a dying celebrity career. Today's chosen one:Ethan Embry.Throw those tomatoe...
Normally, the sighting of a celebrity is a non-event for me. They are just people, after all, so what do I care, really? And besides, I've never met anyone truly impressive. Though getting to shake Ge...
Ok, not really his day, persay, but I've been toying with the idea of writing a blog about the idea of Tarantino-ing someone's career. And who I would choose to do that to, should I be granted the fun...
So internet connections have been problematic here. As you could have guessed from my magical two week absence. And it bugs me. The things I've missed out on since not having television access are sta...
The Loom of Fate wants to know, "What the fuck have you done lately?"In which my response is, "When did Morgan Freeman become Samuel L. Jackson? And why are you insulting me?"So I saw Wanted. And not ...
Yes, we went to the drive-in last night. Couldn't pass it up, really, as it was a double feature of Get Smart and Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, two films I've yet to see but had a vague...
This isn't so much a blog as it is a HOLY FUCK moment for me. And an attempt to get more people listening to greatness.I was browsing the iTunes store a few minutes ago and noticed that the new Holy S...
If you live in Chandler, Oklahoma, I hate you. I hate your mom. Your dad. Your brother. Your whore of a sister. And your pets. Fuck your pets.This is about our cross country trip, so if you're looking...
So I'm here now. After a long, long, long drive with a German Shepherd and a surprisingly talented navigator (considering her sex) by my side, we arrived. And then we had no internet. For days. And th...
