Gabe Garza
Gabriel grew up in an impoverished Welsh family and, due to good genes, won a strong man contest in the mid-90's by dragging a port-a-potty 50 yards with only his teeth and his wits. Since then, he's been a film critic and has received his BA degree in film from UC Santa Barbara. Currently, he occupies his time by working on his first novel and eating circus peanuts. Sometimes, late at night, he likes to sit on the toilet and cry. He also likes cheese.
Blogs by this Author
Robin Williams played one. As did Matt Dillon, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Nick Nolte and Samuel L. Jackson. The same goes for Liam Neeson. And Will Smith. E...
Coldplay is a wildly popular band that composes bland, boring and ear-punishing music that makes me yearn for the nut-crushing sonic maelstrom of Hootie and the Blowfish and the dick-shred...
Every now and again I'll wake up sweating and screaming due to intense night terrors. Usually, I end up inadvertently kicking the transvestite and/or my Mom out of the bed. Like ...
So, the other night I was watching David Lynch's Wild At Heart and was sent into an intense state of inebriated giggles that nearly made me topple off the toilet seat. The reason I was laughing ...
So, the other night I began digging around my closet for my Flowbie (a genius product that attaches to a vacuum cleaner and magically cuts your hair) and for some reason or another, couldn't...
I love baseball. It's pretty much the only sport I enjoy. Well, that and dwarf tossing. But my interest in dwarf tossing has kind of dissipated ever since I accidentally in...
So, the other day I dragged my untoned ass cheeks to one of the million Best Buy stores here in San Diego and was surprised to see several employees hovering around the entrance like a bunch...
