Gabe Garza
Gabriel grew up in an impoverished Welsh family and, due to good genes, won a strong man contest in the mid-90's by dragging a port-a-potty 50 yards with only his teeth and his wits. Since then, he's been a film critic and has received his BA degree in film from UC Santa Barbara. Currently, he occupies his time by working on his first novel and eating circus peanuts. Sometimes, late at night, he likes to sit on the toilet and cry. He also likes cheese.
Blogs by this Author
With the season of ghouls in full swing, television stations have begun
airing an endless barrage of memorable and unmemorable scary movies that have
been collecting dust in their vaults for...
Throughout my confounding, inexplicable life, I have
embarked on numerous adventures and have witnessed a multitude of astonishing
sights (like peering over the edge of the Grand Canyon
...
I used to have a deeply-tanned, anorexic neighbor in her
60’s that filled most her days by sunning beside the apartment pool. Every now and again, she would dive into the
sha...
Dreams.
I rarely remember my dreams.
Every now and then images from a dream (or dreams) will
linger in my mind. And sometimes these
images float around in my cranial nooks an...
Going to the San Diego Comic-Con is like getting fisted by
the beefy, greased-up hand of Kirstie Alley. At first it’s kind of pleasant and you’re mildly star-struck, but
ev...
A year ago I put forth an infamous trilogy of Comic-Con
reports that set temblors across the landscape of the internet community. How do I know this? Because one person commented ...
Quite frequently I find myself fielding the same questions
over and over whenever I am introduced to somebody new. Questions like, “Sweet bastard, what’s that
smell?”...
Does the movie-going experience need resuscitating? With the advent of DVD technology, widescreen televisions, ass-shaking home theater sound systems, downloadable movies, microwave popcorn and ...
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In my never-ending quest to hunt down quality television
programming, I have been slapped with the realization that I am now whoring out
my dignity to several crappy reality game shows.&...
