Once, a long time ago, the counterculture was counter. Now - you buy it at the mall. Why spray-paint the "Anarchy" symbol on a T-shirt when you can buy a shirt that already has one for $22.00?

Movies are no different. Mainstream films are desperate to court an edgy "underground" feel. They try so hard to feel like counterprogramming - but when you're dumping rich cake into prints and advertising - it's all big business.

On the other hand, many of the weakest, high-concept, Z-grade films are conceived at a studio level...polished to an A-grade sheen - and most people never know the difference.

I'm talking to you, "Ghoshridir"...

Certainly, there are the filmmakers who can straddle the line - but it's because they've lived it. They hit the dirt-malls and conventions and calendar houses - they've done the dumpster diving. They found the balls-out crazy you don't get in a lot of films nowadays - and in turn, that insanity has found its way into their work.

And it's easy to appreciate that work - because it's right there at the multiplex, not even ten minutes away.

But it used to be a mail-order crapshoot. It used to be some insane dirt merchant on a convention room floor swearing to Christ that you needed to see this flick. That it was "the baddest hardcore-rotgut-explo dog-shit you've EVER seen!"

And you'd end up dropping two bills for a bunch of Ruggero Deodato debauchery (which guy was selling Cut and Run uncut again?)...you'd end up with a copy of Dellamorte Dellamore ("off Japanese laserdisc, maan!") you'd show everyone you knew...you'd find that print of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 with the added gore (and the cameo by your lord and savior Joe Bob Briggs)...or that grainy workprint of Return of the Living Dead with the documentary-style ending and audible direction from Dan O'Bannon.

"Okay, Linnea - rub yer' butt!"

You'd pay anything for two extra minutes of Evil Dead 2 - there HAD to be a copy with that Evil Ed dismemberment footage somewhere.

(nope - the extra stuff was just a pillow on a couch with some smoke coming out of it.)

You discovered that Chang Cheh has never made a bad film ever.

And no matter how many Fulci films you watched, you discovered there's always room for Giallo.

You got to know Al Cliver personally.

Somewhere along the line - the feeling died.

Dellamorte Dellamore, Texas Chainsaw 2, and Return of the Living Dead are available for purchase at Wal-Mart. I'm not bemoaning the availability of these films. In all actuality, I love it - but I am mourning the fact that the feeling of discovery is pretty much a thing of the past.

That feeling you got when you stuck some tape in your VCR and realized that you were indeed watching a film where a midget rapes a junkie prostitute with his cane...where a well-oiled and ridiculously-coiffed Metal Warrior wrestles Satan for our very souls...where blaxploitation and exorcism and rotoscoping collide...

...where zombies...use UZIs.

I want the feeling back. I want it back for all of us. And if nothing else - I want us to get to know Al Cliver.

You and me are going for a little ride. Welcome to Sewer Subterranea. Whatever crazy shit's out there - we're gonna' find it together. Whether it's forgotten silver or Mini DV...in someone's basement - or in another part of the world. We'll do a bit of history...talk to whoever's willing (I hope someone's willing - someone like Al Cliver)...watch anything-

And to that end - if you're a filmmaker, and you want to be exalted or executed - bring that shit to me, man.

SEND YOUR FILMS TO:

SEWER SUBTERRANEA
P.O. BOX 967
CHESTERTON, IN 46304-0096

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