STRETCH WOLFSTRONG
- By David Oliver
- Published 02/9/2010
- News


Last year, we brought you word that Brian Grazer was readying a movie adaptation of Stretch Armstrong of all things. Now THR.com has word that none other than Twilight wolf boy Taylor Lautner will be taking on the malleable title role. What's more - of course - is that the film will now be done in...wait for it...yep, you guessed it, 3D. This will have the effect of pushing the film back from its planned May 15, 2011 release date to sometime in 2012...just in time for the world to end.
The story will center on an uptight spy who stumbles across a stretching formula, which he takes and must now adjust to in everyday life and when fighting crime. “In the past two years, Taylor has emerged as a real star at the global boxoffice. He brings the perfect balance of energy and athleticism to the role of an unlikely super hero with a fantastic super power,” said Universal co-chairman Donna Langley.
It makes sense, I suppose, that they're going to skew this property more toward the tween set with both Lautner and the 3D since the original character was a kid's toy. But considering that I haven't seen ole Stretch in any form whatsoever other than a Robot Chicken sketch in over 20 years, I still question the viability of the project. If Stretch Monster is in it maybe, though, just maybe.
Note: Not sure if the above image constitutes child porn or not, so you may want to wait until February 11th to read this story...
Elongate, man, on the message boards.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by brundlefly)
Yeah, I seriously doubt modern kids have any idea what Stretch Armstrong is.
Comment #2 (Posted by marco)
But they shure as hell know who Taylor Lautner is, and that is all that the idea-bankrupt execs in Hollywood need to all but guarantee ticket sales nowadays
Comment #3 (Posted by Corn Syrup for Blood)
The toy wasn't that popular anyway was it? It's more well-known as a Gen X call-back joke from the 90s. I had one, but I was about one of two in my school plus some other kid had the green one.
Comment #4 (Posted by Caroline)
Should I wait until Febuary 11th to make a joke referencing a stretchy penis?
Comment #5 (Posted by Kevin)
Have you ever taken a good look at Taylor Lautner's neck? It's at least 18 inches long. He's perfect for the role.
Comment #6 (Posted by A talking pie)
Well, he's already got Grazer's hair.

