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STUDIO: Warner Bros.
MSRP: $14.97 RATED: PG
RUNNING TIME: 95 Minutes
SPECIAL FEATURES:
• Theatrical Trailer
• Bupkiss





It's sad how many crappy movies were preceeded by Bugs Bunny. Just sad.

There was a time in the early nineties when Macaulay Culkin was a superstar. Until about 1995, he was literally one of the biggest deals in business, and his voice hadn’t even cracked nor had he gotten past that age where girls are a strange species that has cooties. He got paid almost five million smackers to star in Home Alone 2, and then became the highest child star ever when he scored an $8 million payday for both Getting Even With Dad and Richie Rich. Then, after that—poof. He burnt out, vanishing for nearly a decade before just recently resurfacing in indies like Party Monster and Saved! Part of that burn out, I think, was that Culkin was forced into being a leading man when he wasn’t even a man yet—he became the headliner, the guy who had to carry the whole picture and was depended upon to deliver a financial success—pretty big pressure when you’re barely 14. Not even the two biggest child stars of the moment, Haley Joel Osment and Daktoa Fanning, have had that kind of celebrity forced upon them (they also tend to do material that skews far older than their respective age groups, so that probably helps).

Today we’re gonna take a look at Culkin’s last film before fading from the public eye, Richie Rich. Getting this DVD in the mail was a real trip down memory lane for me—that sort of nostalgia that VH1 is currently addicted to, remembering something that had almost, but not quite sunken completely into the realms of obscure memory, only to suddenly come rushing forward in a wave of slow nodding and exclamations like “Heeeeeeey, I remember that!” And like most movies steeped in nostalgia, I remembered seeing this in theatres and enjoying it for the most part. But then I considered that I was 10 when I saw it. Now, I’m not trying to generalize the tastes of 10-year-olds—there were plenty of great movies I was absolutely bonkers for when I was a mini-decade, and I still love them today. But as a simple rule of thumb, those just entering the “tween” years are also a LOT less discerning in the kinds of movies they like, and this is a perfect example. So, in conclusion of side point: Not everyone who’s ten years old has bad taste. Just clearing that up in case Dave Davis’ fanbase gets wind of this.


Everyone knew he was power hungry, but when he put his face on Mt. Rushmore they agreed that Cheney might have overstepped his boundries a bit.

The Flick

We all know the basic concept of Richie Rich—the little boy who happens to also be richer than Bill Gates and Paris Hilton combined (I’ll leave you to your own personal horror to imagine what those two would look like smashed together). He’s smart and financially responsible, good in establishing friendships with other kids who are a lot worse off than he, and uses his time to try and further the science of invention with his various gadgets that do everything kids always wished gadgets would do (like electronically detect and identify a smell). In short, it’s probably safe to say Richie will never be President.

The movie keeps the same idea, but starts off with Richie (Culkin) as a materialistically happy but emotionally empty person—he has no real friends, so all the toys in the world can’t make him truly happy. That is, until his beloved butler, Cadbury (the always impressive Jonathan Hyde, turning you typical English butler stereotype and making it the only character in the movie that doesn’t feel like a caricature), makes arrangements with (read: pays) a bunch of poor kids to come and play with Richie for the afternoon (and unless you’re Michael Jackson, yes, that should read awkwardly). The kids end up really liking Richie, and all seems well.

Well, every kid needs a villain, and who better to have than…John Larroquette? Yeah, it was pretty weird for me too. Larroquette plays a good shyster (he was one of the only good things about the nearly forgotten Night Court), and he essentially plays the same guy here, except more cartoonish and annoying. He’s Van Dough, an assistant to Richie’s father, and has laid a trap to blow up the family and take over the business—and gain access to the Rich’s fabled vault which is said to contain their greatest wealth. His plan works (sorta) by blowing Richie’s parents out of the air while they’re over the Pacific, however, Richie was left at home at the last minute. As per movie logic, this leaves Richie, a ten-year-old, in charge of a company worth 700 billion.


Michael Jackson's "Child Anal Fun Kit" was both extremely disturbing and extremely shiny.

Being ten, of course, means he’s going to turn the company into his own private playground, and more or less gets his wish. I won’t detail the whole movie, because it’s pretty by-the-numbers from there—Van Dough finds a way to take over the company, tries to kill Richie, and the whole thing climaxes on a ridiculous “homage” to the finale of North by Northwest.

Though the film isn’t very good, there are worse things I can imagine your ten-year-old wanting to rent from the video store. The film does a good job with its message—money isn’t everything, friends are more important than power—it’s just completely vanilla in the execution. The performances vary from good to painful—and it’s a sliding scale. All the adults are nominal, except for Johnathan Hyde, who gives a performance the movie really doesn’t deserve. He gets 90% of the laughs, and is the only one to actually have a display of emotion. It’s not a performance that defines careers, but it stood out for me as something the movie definitely has in its favor.

Caulkin and the kids fare a little worse. Caulkin seems lost here, unsure of what he’s supposed to be doing and suffers from a serious case of what kills most child actors for me—he over exaggerates almost every line, and his “intense and serious” tone comes off more like a spoiled kid demanding more chocolate ice cream. His troupe of politically-corrected diversity is even more grating, but they’re such non-characters that I can’t cite specific examples of annoyingness.

While it certainly won’t be remembered as a great kid’s movie (or really remembered at all), a kid could do a lot worse than Richie Rich. Not a resounding endorsement, but it doesn’t deserve one.

4.6 out of 10


As accurate as it may have been, France's suggested new title for America didn't go over as well as they'd hoped.

The Look

Comes across clear and crisp, no unbalanced colors or overly dark blacks. A standard job from the Brother Warner.

7.5 out of 10


PC group check: Cute white girl? Check. Overweight Asian kid? Check. Hip black kid? Check. Mutated mix between Bug Bunny and a New Kid on the Block? Check, check, and check.

The Noise

Comes with a Dolby Digital 5.1 track, but other than the sound of kids flying overhead on the Kidapault, it doesn’t get a lot of workout. Like the movie, it’s pretty standard, nothing horrible, but nothing special.

6.5 out of 10

The Goodies

A trailer to remind us how little ads for kids movies have evolved over the last decade. Other than that, the special features are Home Alone (I had to slip one in here somewhere.)

1.2 out 10


How big does that make you feel, Richie? That big? Good lad. You've taken your first step into a, um, larger world.

The Artwork

The theatrical poster gets re-used here, and it works. I remember it catching my eye as a kid, so I suppose it does the job. That and I’ve got to give it to them for not going photoshop-happy and sticking Macauly’s giant floating head on the front. Also, I know it’s been going on for a while now, but I rejoice that I got a DVD from Warner Bros. And it wasn’t a snapper. Thank Cthulu those things are dead.

7.5 out of 10.0

Overall: 5.4 out of 10