NEW MOON RISING
- By Devin Faraci
- Published 11/22/2008
- News
This can't be a surprise to anybody: I got a press release this morning telling me that Summit has officially greenlit the sequel to Twilight, New Moon. It's actually surprising that Summit waited for the Friday totals (a huge 35.7 million) to announce this - the movie had been selling out shows in a big way in advance, so it looked quite likely that Twilight was going to be a box office phenom.New Moon sounds like it's even more boring than Twilight, if that's possible. This one doesn't even have bad guys, according to Wikipedia. Apparently Bella is opening presents and gets a paper cut, which sends good vampire Jasper (the guy in the movie who always looks sort of stunned. He made me laugh) into a blood frenzy. A paper cut!!! Anyway, this for some reason makes brooding bohunk Edward leave town. Bella is all broken up about it and starts doing dangerous things because - seriously - danger makes her hallucinate Edward's voice. And she starts hanging out with that Indian kid, who it turns out (unshockingly) is a werewolf.
In a plot twist out of Three's Company, Edward thinks Bella is dead, so he goes to Italy to some vampire ruling council, hoping they'll kill him. Bella and the good vamps follow him to stop Edward from killing himself. These people should get cell phones.
Even fans have complained that New Moon gets pretty dull right in the middle, so I imagine the filmmakers have a lot of work cut out for them. The Summit release doesn't mention whether or not Catherine Hardwicke will be back for the sequel, but all of the actors are signed on for multiple movies, so you'll get to see Robert Pattinson's ludicrous hair in another film!
Here's to hoping that the success of Twilight has put Summit in a position where they can spend a dime on the FX for New Moon. Especially if there are some werewolf scenes in there.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by DevinsFetishBoi)
Faraci you fraud. You cried like the cock sucking bitch you are during this movie.
You're definetly playing "catcher" to Edwards "pitcher" if you know what I mean.
I'm talking about gay anal sex.
Comment #2 (Posted by bpvalentine)
Hmm. True Blood has a werewolf appear in the 2nd entry, too, I believe. What is it in the zeitgeist bringing all of these watered down, soapy vampire stories to the mainstream? Fangs have certainly lost their edge and bite.
Comment #3 (Posted by heathhead91)
hwy al the twilight hate!!!11!!!!!1!!! ZOMG cant WIAT for new moom!!!!
Comment #4 (Posted by Shan)
That was actually a problem in Buffy. The number of times problems could have been avoided if someone just picked up the phone and said: "'x' is now a vampire" or "'y' has escaped from prison and is heading your way" etc etc ...
Comment #5 (Posted by David)
Please, Catherine, stay far, far away from any sequel! Hopefully, the success of Twilight will give her enough clout to do what's supposed to be her next project - an adaptation of Edward Abbey's The Monkey Wrench Gang - in all its 1970s anarchist splendor and outrageous political incorrectness.
Comment #6 (Posted by an unknown user)
I'm quite happy about this, because it means we're one movie closer to seeing Robert Pattinson perform a C-section on Kristen Stewart with his teeth.
Comment #7 (Posted by Fetish Boi is a sad, lonely jackhole.)
I'm not a fan of talkbacks. I just don't see the point. But I feel like I need to chime in just this once to say... DevinsFetishBoi- you might just be the saddest little fuckwit homophobe out there. I mean, seriously, does taking time out in all of Devin's articles to throw unfunny jibes at a guy make you feel all warm and gushy inside, or is it simply to project your own fears of lonliness and homosexuality on someone who is actually doing something with his life? I mean, do you think people respect you for it, or something? Very sad.
Or maybe you're just another clueless 14-year old.
Comment #8 (Posted by tired)
How about instead of CHUD riding Twilight's nuts, we get some reporting on something those of us who visit the site are actually interested in, or do you need the hits from pissed off tweens who dislike your snark? You guys have had that Pattinson guy's "fuck this face" on the home page for weeks.
Comment #9 (Posted by Dick Cheese)
'Fuck this Face' is the best thing to ever happen on this website. It's a FUCK of a lot better than 'Oh Don Piano'. Fuck Devin.
Comment #10 (Posted by Nick)
These movies look atrociously horrible. But you know what? At least they're not remakes. I love that movies with some small nugget of originality are making FAR more money than any remake, ever, and I hope it keeps up like this. I will never, ever go see Twilight, but I'd rather have it around than a Poltergeist re-vamp.
Comment #11 (Posted by DevinsFetishBoi)
#7- Thank you for descending to my level! You've just given me exactly what I wanted!
Also, Devin sucks ass.
Comment #12 (Posted by The Original Remake)
#10 - Perhaps you can enlighten us as to what exactly the "nugget" of originality is here? I think we might have two different ideas of what "originality" means.

