ARGH (ASIAN REMAKES GONNA HAPPEN)
- By Devin Faraci
- Published 11/19/2008
- News

These are the times that try men's souls.
In the past I have been very cavalier about remakes. I have said that there's no reason to get so upset about them because the originals still remain, and that at worst the remakes will turn some people on to the films upon which they are based. And at best we get a good movie - it's happened before.
But the past few weeks have beaten me down. Matt Reeves has announced that his remake of the modern classic Let The Right One In could be before cameras next year. And the long dormant remake of Oldboy suddenly sputtered to life last week, with the heavy weight of Will Smith and Steven Spielberg behind it. And now today there's more news on that film, and a sudden return from the grave for the remake of The Host.
Both The Host and Oldboy were part of the exciting South Korean film resurgence of a few years back. What makes them very notable, at least for the American majority reading this, is how West-friendly they both are; besides those pesky subtitles, neither film feels prohibitively 'foreign' in theme or pacing (although The Host does have some elements that really improve with a minimal amount of understanding of Korea). They're also movies with vision and personality.
Like Let The Right One In there's just no reason to remake these films for American audiences. The movies right now are accessible for anyone willing to read subtitles. And fuck people who aren't - they don't deserve awesome movies. But all three are being remade anyway. So let's get to the actual news, which is so disheartening it provoked this rant.
First up, Mark Protosevitch, one of the writers on I Am Legend, has been brought on (at Will Smith's insistence) to write the adaptation of Oldboy. This is just plain old bad news - the trifecta of Spielberg, Smith and Protosevitch guarantee a defanged Hollywood product that betrays the spirit of the original. If you were holding out hope, this bit of hiring should dash that for you.
Next, Gore Verbinski is producing The Host, and a newbie director, Fredrik Bond, is going to be helming. Bond is a commercial director, and that's not what's bumming me out - we're well beyond the point where looking down on commercial or video directors makes any sense, at least as long as people like Ridley Scott and David Fincher and Spike Jonze come from those worlds. What's bumming me out is that he's such a hugely unknown quantity. If I liked or trusted Verbinski more as a filmmaker, I might hold out some hope, but as of right now, Bond on The Host earns zero benefit of my doubt.
Slashfilm has helpfully compiled some of Bond's commercial work. None of it grabs me - there are some nice visuals, but most of the ideas are boring or don't quite work. Click here to see the commercials.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by pacman)
The Host shouldn't be remade - who wants to hear the line "I can tell how chewmydong feels by the smell of his farts" again. If the remake is western, how will they portray the mean mean US military that's been keeping Korea from killing itself for half a century in the in the film? I think it's a masterpiece because it's Asian and I saw it before anyone at the cool independant cinematique next to the coffee shop.
Comment #2 (Posted by Vault Master)
Wow, now all we need is a remake of "Master of the Flying Guillotine" with Jet Li, Robin Williams, and/or Owen Wilson. Oh God, I was just kidding. NO! HOLLYWOOD! DON'T MAKE IT A REALITY! I WAS JUST KIDDING! NOOOOOOOOOooo...........
Comment #3 (Posted by bpvalentine)
I know it doesn't bother Park Chanwook about the remakes, as he says the idea is interesting to him. But it still bugs the shit out of me that Charlize Theron is gonna be in a new Lady Vengeance. And this other news bugs me, too. It just does. Yeah, we have the originals, but there's this feeling of wanting to wake people up of the goodness already out there. That they don't have to settle for watered down shit. Instead of these great movies being used to improve the general taste of an audience, they're being used to dull the taste. And with the brand of films, they'll probably make the audience believe they're being discerning or even daring in seeing the Old Boy remake based on the reputation of the original. Maybe it'll lead to a greater appreciation of Chanwook, the way remakes helped Kurosawa's rep in the USA. But maybe it won't. The Departed (as much as I love that movie) didn't really seem to do Internal Affairs any favors that I'm aware of.
Comment #4 (Posted by bluurg)
The Host was a bore from start to finish.
Comment #5 (Posted by Dude)
Too bad it's not Gore Vidal remaking The Host.
Comment #6 (Posted by DP)
By the way, here's the source for the Mark Protosevich strory: http://tinyurl.com/6p5ma7. Just because you've rightfully got a bug up your ass about trade papers stealing internet scoops doesn't mean you should steal them right back. Take the high road.
Comment #7 (Posted by PD)
"By the way, here's the source for the Mark Protosevich strory: http://tinyurl.com/6p5ma7. Just because you've rightfully got a bug up your ass about trade papers stealing internet scoops doesn't mean you should steal them right back. Take the high road." Devin has said long ago that he would stop crediting the trade papers cause they wont credit internet sites. Tit for tat, I suppose. And sometimes the High Road is littered with Bandits and Thieves.
Comment #8 (Posted by Jon Waldman)
Well I won't be seeing these remakes for the same reason I didn't see 'Quarantine'. Cause new foreign films shouldn't be remade, people should just fucking read subtitles and not stand for watered down imitations. Fuck this noise.
Comment #9 (Posted by Andrew)
The Host was not good. Perhaps Gore and pals can improve it.
Oh, well I guess I just didn't like The Host because I don't have a basic understanding of Korea. Or that its tone was extremely inconsistent and the humor skewed to fourth graders.
The only good part was when the guy in the yellow contamination suit fell down. Let's all hope that Gore Verbinski has the skills to translate that purely Korean humor into something Western. God help us all.
Comment #10 (Posted by The Mutt)
I like remakes. Some of the greatest films of all time are remakes. There's no reason these movies coudn't be terrific. (Except for Old Dog. That is gonna ssu ssu suuck! But not because it's a remake. Because the wrong people are remaking it.)
It amuses me that the same kind of fans who wholly embrace film franchises get so riled up about remakes. Should Hollywood have stopped after one Tarzan movie? One Sherlock Holmes?
The Maltese Falcon
His Girl Friday
The Man Who Knew Too Much
The Magnificent Seven
A Fistful of Dollars
The Thing
The Fly
Evil Dead 2
All remakes.
Comment #11 (Posted by Lima Oscar Lima)
RE: #10 I agree, and generally do not get worked up over Hollywood remaking films. I just don't watch them. I'm all for subtitles... to paraphrase John Waters, "I'll watch white subtitles on a background of snow." It just irks me that filmmakers with imagination and vision get pushed to the wayside by the moviegoing public, to embrace the mindless pap and re-worked endings that Hollywood seems to offer.
Comment #12 (Posted by Carlos Alberto)
I found both The Host and Old Boy to be incredibly over-rated. Sympathy For Lady Vengeance is a much better film, and The Host was just a dull mish-mash of slapstick, black comedy, drama and occasionally, horror.
Comment #13 (Posted by DevinsFetishBoi)
Devin, you're a tremendous faggot.
Comment #14 (Posted by oslowe)
I gotta disagree w/ you on Protosevitch, Dev. It was fuckin' Kiki (or as we call him, "Acadamy Award Winner Akiva Goldsman") that fucked up I AM LEGEND. Protosevitch' original draft(s) were thrilling stuff, that neither lost the impact of the original or became a skittering gibbering mess... I'm not saying he's the right guy to tackle Oldboy, but his name shouldn't engender instant dread.
Comment #15 (Posted by Hall)
It's a guarantee that the producers will create an American Oldboy that is a pale imitation to it's predecessor; I still can't figure out how Spielberg and Smith are attached to a project that involves the kind of subject matter Oldboy features, but money's money I suppose. At the same time, I must say that a weak remake doesn't hinder the original. If anything, a remake's flaws enhances the original film's strengths and gives you an all new appreciation for the earlier work. My argument, my concern here, is remakes like these just feel unwarranted. Who has been clamoring for an Oldboy remake all this time? I don't think fans of the original have been rubbing their hands in anticipation for Steven Spielberg to come along with his "Spielberg's List" of movies that he can ruin rather than save. And if you're part of the uncultured mass who hasn't witnessed the visual-viagra that is Oldboy I doubt very much if you've ever heard about the movie to begin with, so it's no loss to you if the film does or does not get remade. This is a roundabout way of saying bad remakes don't make me piss myself with rage because I always have the original to fall back on, however what does get my panties in a knot is the motivation, the forethought to remake any movie rather than creating something original. (The Departed being a wonderful, brilliant exception)
Comment #16 (Posted by T)
How do you remake the Host? Why not just write a new story and put a giant fucking monster in it destroying stuff, or is this to hard for anyone in hollywad to do, oh yeah I guess it is, look at cloverfield.
Comment #17 (Posted by Swampcow)
I really wanted to like Host. I really did. Too bad it was just colossally stupid. I will never understand peoples' praise for that pile of cornball.
Comment #18 (Posted by facepalm jr.)
You people are all cunttards. I think the comment that amazed me the most was the one saying Lady Vengeance is better than Oldboy. Why is that exactly? Is it the lack of an interesting or emotionally involved character that you enjoyed so much, or the complete schism between the tones of the first and 2nd halves of the movie? And if you didn't enjoy the Host,.. gah, fuck it, I hate you all.
Comment #19 (Posted by Ed)
Korean cinema definitely plays looser with genres than American cinema. If you think The Host's tone is inconsistent, watch Save the Green Planet, which is basically Men in Black meets Misery.
Comment #20 (Posted by J Son)
I have to also say no need to beat on Mark P. His original draft of I am Legend is pretty bada$$. His is a very capable writer. So he prob could come up with a solid draft of Oldboy which is actually based on a Japanese Manga. Like the previous post the problem with script is when they bring in some hack like Akiva Goldcrap to possibly Big Willie it up. No offense to Big Will. I am a fan. I just wish he brought his passion and craft that he puts into Ali, Seven pounds, and P of Happiness to his genre action projects.
Comment #21 (Posted by Rob)
As someone who has thought about "Oldboy" every day since seeing it in theatres back in '04, I can say I like this idea of these three guys tackling the movie. "Munich", anyone? Not your typical Spielberg fare. Smith? The guy's a great talent and Hollywood's most bankable star. Protosevich? "I Am Legend" was fucking incredible.
As for "The Host" ... that movie had so many great parts in it, but the movie sucked shit overall. The goofy parts melding with the intensely serious parts just do not work for me when it comes to monster cinema. If a remake happens, we don't LOSE anything, it'll still be anti-Government, still have all the shit the original had, only it'll be white people taking the monster down instead of Koreans. Big fuckin' deal.
Comment #22 (Posted by Zombie Genocider)
Oldboy is my absolute favorite movie, ever. With that, I should hate the fact that it's being remade. I find myself looking forward to it. Maybe the story will reach out to the audience it deserves. As long as it keeps the three fundamental elements:
A. Dickshit.
B. Incest.
C. The uncomfortable-yet-beautiful flashback scene from the second act.
That, and as long as Spielberg doesn't replace the hammer with a walkie-talkie.
Comment #23 (Posted by America Sucks)
The US is a world super power. We should be making movies that other countries are doing remakes of. We should not be doing remakes of other peoples work. This is just another reason why America is going to burn faster than Rome.
Comment #24 (Posted by Joe)
If they're making such drastic changes to the originals in these remakes, why even call them remakes? Just call it an homage, or "influenced-by", and call it a day.
Comment #25 (Posted by Colin)
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance was the best one, and could actually be an interesting Coen Brothers adaptation if they did it. Hollywood is full of bad decisions though, so I doubt it'll ever happen.
Comment #26 (Posted by Brad)
Well... I loved The Host. I thought it was the funniest horror/comedy since Shaun of the Dead. I thought the scene in which the grieving just went to extreme proportions and subverted the taboo of death in a way I can't imagine an american remake doing..

