GET READY FOR TEDIOUS 'FAST JASON' ARGUMENTS (UPDATED!)
- By Russ Fischer
- Published 10/23/2008
- News
Spike's 2008 Scream Awards has the best concept for post-show linkage of any awards ceremony: show a bunch of new footage so that we constantly have to talk about the show the following day. The crown jewel of new clips at the show last night was Watchmen, but also making a showing was Twilight (represented by some of the Comic Con footage) and Friday the 13th, also represented by a Comic Con clip. (Which I didn't see, but Devin covered during the Con.) We didn't run any bootleg clips back in July, so this clip is probably still new to some of you.
The first thing that comes to mind watching this clip is just how consistent Platinum Dunes movies look; even in a low-res format I feel as if I could take shots of screaming kids out of this teaser and insert them into any other PD film without anyone noticing. '80s slasher films often had a really consistent look as well (read: flat and cheap) but here the similarity is really noticable.
Then there's, yes, fast Jason. I don't mind it at all -- I agree with Devin on the point that the forced slowness of Jason is a throwback. Handled perfectly, the slow killer of yore could work, but I'm perfectly happy to see him pick up speed. Especially since it'll lead to funny and pathetic online fanboy screeds.
The first thing that comes to mind watching this clip is just how consistent Platinum Dunes movies look; even in a low-res format I feel as if I could take shots of screaming kids out of this teaser and insert them into any other PD film without anyone noticing. '80s slasher films often had a really consistent look as well (read: flat and cheap) but here the similarity is really noticable.
Then there's, yes, fast Jason. I don't mind it at all -- I agree with Devin on the point that the forced slowness of Jason is a throwback. Handled perfectly, the slow killer of yore could work, but I'm perfectly happy to see him pick up speed. Especially since it'll lead to funny and pathetic online fanboy screeds.
UPDATE: The official teaser has been posted to MySpace. It's a bit different, and uses Mama Voorhees's voieover narration to set up the basic story from the end of the original movie.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by Lard)
Fast or slow, it doesn't matter. Remakes suck and they don't need to be done at all.
Comment #2 (Posted by Big Jim Slade)
Fast Jason is where it's at. Jason isn't a zombie on HGH, as all the Kane Hodder fanboys seem to think he should be.
Comment #3 (Posted by Frogger)
And then I say something.
Comment #4 (Posted by an unknown user)
I for one dig fast Jason. It adds some much needed scariness to the character. Color me impressed, for now.
Comment #5 (Posted by Dick Cheese)
The folks behind the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake did this... WHY is this getting positive hype from this site? HOW MUCH are they paying you guys?!?!?!
Comment #6 (Posted by Pat from Boston)
Can somebody tell me why the Friday the 13th flicks get so much respect (as far as horror movies go)? Jason's just Michael Myers in a different mask. Always was, always will be. Between Friday's eleven movies and Halloween's nine, there's exactly one good, scary movie among them, and it's John Carpenter's Halloween. Affection for Jason is nothing more than 80's nostalgia.
Comment #7 (Posted by oslowe)
Hey, they can reboot Friday the 13th any time they want: there wasn't anything that special about it, other than the hockey mask- the mythology changed movie-to-movie, almost as bad as the mid-series Halloween Flix (druidic enforcer, wha!?) So if they wanna zap the potential of a hulking brute in a hockey mask with 20k volts of go-go juice, shit, why not?
Comment #8 (Posted by Mut)
Alright, fine, I'll take on the role of whining fanboy. Fast Jason sucks. There, I said it. He sucks. Just like fast zombies suck, and aren't scary in the least. Furthermore, I couldn't care less about this remake, as it just looks like the same old shit that PD has been cranking out. Now if you'll pardon me, I'll be off watching some GOOD horror films.
Comment #9 (Posted by Joe Argonaut)
I really thought this was about a Jason & The Argonauts remake. I thought to myself, "Well, I guess Jason did take sort of a long time in the original. Maybe they're picking up the pace for the ADD set."
Yes, I'm a fool.
Comment #10 (Posted by Peter Judson)
Don't feel bad, man. I thought the exact same thing. Or maybe Stratham was going to be in a Fast and Furious flick. I dunno how I feel about this remake. I thought the first TCM remake was atrocious, I mean really, really bad. Then "The Beginning" came out and that one worked for me just fine. And yes, I like the Halloween remake. I think it'll age very nicely and works as a film for the kiddie pups.
Comment #11 (Posted by CommentGuy)
Personally, I never got past the original Friday the 13th. Hated it. But something about that shot of Jason bearing down on that crawling girl just clicked for me. Not saying I'll see this (I generally hate this kind of horror film) but it actually looks better than the super-overrated original to me. Maybe I'll rent it on disc when it comes out.
Comment #12 (Posted by Aeghast)
I don't mind Fast Jason either. Just like fast zombies.. you gotta let 'em evolve, dammit
Comment #13 (Posted by Dan J.)
Jason runs in:
Part 2 (cop chases Jason through the woods) Part 3 (Jason chases Dana Kimmel to the barn, then throws a temper tantrum)
and Part 4 (Jason runs through a freakin' door!). It wasn't until he was officially a zombie in part 6 that he walked after everyone.
Comment #14 (Posted by K)
Screw that grunting sack of anticharisma Kane Hodder. He's a freaking stuntman, not an actor. The only thing he can do reasonably well is falling down the stairs.
Bring me back CJ Graham and Tom McLoughlin, who together are responsible for the only good "Friday the 13th" film ever made.
Oh, yeah... this? Personally, I expect the same level of shittiness as in that moronic "Texas Chainsaw Remakesacre" and have no interest.
Comment #15 (Posted by Fieldsmagnetic)
Fast Jason is the best Jason (2 and 4 being my favs). He ceased to be scary in the films where he was slow. So good for PD. And Kane Hodder stinks.
Comment #16 (Posted by TS)
Jason DID run in the previous Friday the 13th films (He runs in Part 3 for instance). Maybe he doesn't "constantly" run in the films, but he definitely has. Check the facts, fanboys. Check the facts.
Comment #17 (Posted by Ten Pound Salmon)
Today I ran to the store for some candy, and then I walked back.
Comment #18 (Posted by an unknown user)
What everyone else said: Jason runs in parts 2, 3, 4. Fucking idiot fanboys.
Comment #19 (Posted by Adam)
I dont know how anyone can get bent out of shape about this remake. This isnt Halloween or Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even Nightmare on Elm Street where there was actually some thought and care put into these movies. I dont even think Sean Cunningham liked the first movie that much. Every Friday the 13th movie is terrible and you can only say that the "best" ones are at least kind of fun to watch. Who cares if this is a remake or part 11? It would still probably be shitty but mildly enjoyable either way.
Comment #20 (Posted by Kaiju D'amato)
i'm sort of looking forward to this one - it definitely does look more like a sequel than a remake, and when it comes to PD movies, that's a damn good thing. (Texas Chainsaw Blasphemy sucked ass, btw.)
Comment #21 (Posted by Kane Hodder Sucks)
Fast, slow, who gives a shit. Jason could ride around on a fucking moped for all I care. Getting worked up over anything in a F13 remake is about as lame as you can get. It's Friday the fucking 13th. It's not like any of them have been high art. After going to space, being melted by toxic waste in the NY sewers and fighting Freddy, there's nothing they can do in a remake that's more embarrassing than what's already happened. Fast Jason. Shut the fuck up, you freaks.
Comment #22 (Posted by Romero)
I don't think it matters. Once your title character has been in space I think anything can be accepted (as long as it's done well). The old Jason ran, breathed hard and was just damn freaky (part 3 comes to mind). As long as it's good.
Comment #23 (Posted by joey cash)
The way I see it is he can either run after people, or he can walk and be easily escaped from... until he teleports. That's the one thing I really hate about zombie Jason. Of course there are those kids who get far away from him then fall down. Then when they get up they forget where they came from and just stand there and let him catch up. That sucks. I say let the fucking guy sprint.
Comment #24 (Posted by The Mutt)
I wish all the remake haters would remember that The Maltese Falcon, The Magnificent Seven and The Thing were all remakes.
Comment #25 (Posted by Bill Brasky)
Shitty remakes of great movies suck. This definietly doesn't meet the latter of those qualifications and may not meet the former, either.
Comment #26 (Posted by larryguy)
Jason wasn't super slow (aka Michael Myers) until after part 4. Once he turned dead and purple he turned into that and it sucked. Watch part 4, he busts through the door, throws a hammer at Corey Feldman, then books after them like a linebacker. Personally, I think that's a tad more frightening to know he's not always so patient about killing people.
Comment #27 (Posted by Jimmy)
Looks absolutely terrible
Comment #28 (Posted by Majewski79)
Great movies? I assume your talking about the 1st Jason movie... You say its great? Wow... They were all 'ok', including the first film. They weren't great by any means.
Comment #29 (Posted by Par for the Intercourse)
You are comparing this pile of donkey dick to The Maltese Falcon, The Magnificent Seven and The Thing? What is going on in the world???
Comment #30 (Posted by solartaco)
I am adding subtitles to an avi using convertxtodvd.
Comment #31 (Posted by Slowzombiesarescaryfastzombiessuck)
"Fast zombies" are not scary. I think Pan's Labyrinth helps back me up in the shambling monsters are/aren't scary debate. Now, I know it wasn't a zombie in Pan's. It was a chronic masterbating (blind AND had stuff growing from his palms!), naked Machinist, lunch buffet guardian, but it still shambled LIKE a slow zombie, and that was one of the scariest scenes I've seen in a movie, horror or otherwise, in recent memory. Slow zombies are the same. They may be slow, but they'll corner you eventually, and then it's much scarier than some "red eye" or whatever shit Boyle tried to pass off as a zombie.
Comment #32 (Posted by Goose)
Yeah, you either love Jason or you hate him. I have all the movies. He wipes his ass with Michael Myers like he mopped the floor with Freddy. I love the new movie and I haven't even seen it, YET!!!
Comment #33 (Posted by Brad)
Ummm... technically speaking, how can this be a remake of Friday the 13th? Jason's mother was the killer, not Jason, so shouldn't this be more appropriately given that other reviled label: Re-boot?
Comment #34 (Posted by Manny Fraker)
I'm all for a Part 3/Part 4 style Jason. Just as long as they don't make him too smart. The fun of Jason isn't that he is evil personified (like Myers) it's that he's really, really, Really Retarded. He want to kill you more than you want to stay alive.
