CLINT EASTWOOD HAS LAID AN EGG
- By Devin Faraci
- Published 10/3/2008
- News
The word coming out of New York Film Festival press screenings about Clint Eastwood's new film, The Changeling, is not good. In fact, that movie sounds like it sucks, like it's a joke. Ed Douglas of Coming Soon has Twittered that he'll be giving the film a 2 out of 10; Karina Longworth of Spout has this memorable drinking game for the movie:We drink every time Angelina hysterically proclaims, “He’s not my son!” We get very drunk, and this may be why we can’t figure out why Clint Eastwood made a cheap-looking Lifetime movie that eventually turns into an “And justice for all!” episode of SVU. Just when the drinking game is starting to get really out of control, there’s a twist so shocking that it’s punctuated by two inches of ash falling off a policeman’s cigarette … in slow motion.
Ouch. This is a reversal from Cannes; Cinematical's Kim Voynar loved the shit out of the movie in France. Considering the fact that I think that Eastwood is a big naked emperor these days, I'm leaning towards believing the negative nancies.
In the meantime, enjoy this horrific new poster for the film, which makes Angelina Jolie look like the gun-spitting head from Zardoz. Guns good, penis bad!
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by rAt)
"HA! HA!"
-Nelson Muntz
Comment #2 (Posted by RCA)
It's almost like she is looking at one of her adopted children and finally realizing "Why the hell did I adopt you? I've got the receipt from Click-Clack's Children Emporeum and I am not afraid to use it. I want my bag of rice and my Versace loafers back you little bastard. Go live with your daddy, and I don't mean Brad." The child is appropriately being engulfed in darkness as Jolie's horns raise, webbed wings spread, and the portal to Hell she was birthed from uncoils behind her.
Comment #3 (Posted by kevin)
Zardoz! Yes!
Jolie should star in a Zardoz remake, Eastwood directs. No, Seany Connery directs.
Comment #4 (Posted by Jim)
Wow, that's a wierdly strange sexual image, is it not?
Comment #5 (Posted by BStiglets)
Maybe Clint should direct a new chapter of of his Orangutan trilogy. That's all any of us really want. Admit it. A young girl is murdered, a million dollars in Hondas goes missing and only one team can solve the mystery: a man and his biker punching, beer drinking orangutan. Maybe throw in a ninja or a robot. Now, how's that for a slice of fried gold?
Comment #6 (Posted by Wally)
Shock of Shocks!! Devin is more inclined to believe the negative reviewers!
Im just busting your balls Devin, I was unimpressed with his War Time double bill and Mystic River so it doesn't shock me that his latest might be balls.
Comment #7 (Posted by BobClark was not even close to here...seriously!!)
Twitter! What a nerd you are, Sir Bottom McFats.
Comment #8 (Posted by Sle)
This is the most shocking thing I have ever read, Devin is inclined to believe the negative. Earth Shattering. Moron.
Comment #9 (Posted by Cassssimir)
Wowzers. I need the Material Safety Data Sheets for those big fake lips! STAT! (Also for Dev's big fat butt. But not as STAT...)
Comment #10 (Posted by Albert Spleen)
Clint Eastwood made a bad movie? Yeah, I'll bet. Clint Eastwood's farts are more interesting, more creative, better written and better directed than everything the "Wise"mans, Ajas and Rattners have ever done (and will ever do)...
Comment #11 (Posted by jose)
Clint has directed just as many shitty films as he has good ones - and he's only directed one or two truly great films - he's done a lot more shitty ones.
Comment #12 (Posted by bpvalentine)
How many Eastwood movies do you own and put on any sort of rotation? I own the Leone movies. A Perfect World. That's it. I like him. Who doesn't, Spike Lee aside. I just don't understand how or when people started mentioning his name in the same breath as Kubrick and other truly great directors rather than pretty good or very decent directors.
Comment #13 (Posted by mr_adam)
Zardoz remake please. Without the semi-literate wife beating milkman, obviously.
Comment #14 (Posted by Hypocriticus)
Really? This is a "well I haven't seen the movie, but I'm gonna say it's not good" write-up? Top notch, top notch...
Comment #15 (Posted by an unknown user)
no shit, eastwood is not the NEARLY the director everyone claims. His only good film is a perfect world, and that only works as a "small" movie....mystic river makes me want to shit in my mouth...truely terrible scene: tim robbins talking about vampires to know he is fucked up...sheesh..devin is fat
Comment #16 (Posted by Mike "The BadAss" Rodeno)
She looks like she's going to eat that kid!
Comment #17 (Posted by BurmaShave)
Yes because I trust internet critics twittering so much more than raves at Cannes. And that place is savage, it's not Sundance mountain air. Obviously there are films that have fared poorly there and done well here, but I've never heard of the inverse happening. I call bullshit.
Comment #18 (Posted by Tom)
Wait, wait wait...the man who thinks Rob Zombie's an auteur (with his obviously briliant redneck-slasher ouvre) and that Eli Roth is a real talent, is hating on a flick he hasn't even seen? This means either Devin a) has utterly shitty taste or b) knows these other people on a cursory level but doesn't know Clint and so lambasts the man while he licks these other guys' sweatsacks or c) all of the above.
Comment #19 (Posted by Muzz)
I thought Mystic River had acting a hell of a lot better than the rest of it deserved and that's why the love (ok, subject matter too). The remainder was highly polished overdone cheese, from camera to music. Million Dollar Baby continued this trend, but again the schmaltz couldn't outweigh the horror of the subject matter.
I thought he's lucky so far, but soon the balance will tip the wrong way.
I'm also disappointed. The headline had me hoping that Clint was to play Robin in some new Dark Knight Returns- Returns kind of thing that's been put back because they can't get Paul Newman anymore for Batman.
Comment #20 (Posted by Gwai Lo)
Eastwood's only good movie is A Perfect World? What are you people, on dope? I like A Perfect World and all, but if you think the one with the Jehova's Witness kid running around in his undies with Kevin Costner is better than Unforgiven, well you are just out of your gourd. Show some respect, Eastwood is a solid director with at least one brilliant title to his name and about fifteen others that are good to great. Not to say he's Kubrick or that he won't turn in another Space Cowboys, but to suggest he's not a good director is ridiculous.
Comment #21 (Posted by Bees?!?)
That poster needs a big fat cock tickling Jolie's big fat juicy lips. And holy shock horror batman! People getting upset because Devin believes the negative buzz over positive buzz! Next up, people literally start shitting themselves because water is wet.
Comment #22 (Posted by Big Jim Slade)
Just what does Megan Fox have to do with this, Bees?!?
Comment #23 (Posted by TheHonestTruth)
I notice all the Clint-haters conveniently fail to mention Unforgiven. I guess what doesn't slide neatly into their revisionist history gets tossed aside.
Comment #24 (Posted by Mik)
This doesn't surprise me. Name one good thing that Clint Eastwood has done. He is overrated imo and needs to stop making movies.
Comment #25 (Posted by Mik)
This doesn't surprise me. Name one good thing that Clint Eastwood has done. He is overrated imo and needs to stop making movies.
Comment #26 (Posted by an unknown user)
Mik, are you serious? You'd like him to stop making movies?? Give me a break man. Clint is anything but a hack. I thought Mystic River and Million Dollar Baby were both great films, and Unforgiven is a classic.
Comment #27 (Posted by Nighttrap38)
"The Penis is Evil!"
