COMIC BOOK: THE BRIDGER ADVENTURES, PAGE 6

Walking! Drinking!! Adventure!!! Terrible, terrible and more terrible. You say you have hundreds of pages of this fucking drivel? Burn them.

Comment #1 is actually more entertaining than this comic. Props for the effort though.

Congrats!!! This is the first page that actually has some continuity from the previous page. If we can all agree to forget the first four pages and start with page five then it almost feels like a real comic instead of some fever dream from a fanboy suffering herion withdrawals.

Armond White wrote a great column about internet movie guys. Though White is usually quite crazy, he makes some good points: "The internetters who stepped in to fill print publications’ void seize a technological opportunity and then confuse it with “democratization”—almost fascistically turning discourse into babble. They don’t necessarily bother to learn or think—that’s the privilege of graffito-critique. Their proud non-professionalism presumes that other moviegoers want to—or need to—match opinions with other amateurs.' http://www.nypress.com/21/17/news&columns/feature3.cfm I think there's something to that when discussing what comes next, the amateur "internetters" who then confuse the fact that they were able to build a readership with whether or not they actually had an artistic contribution to make like the filmmakers they bash-or-revere depending on the day.

This is for you, Sergio and H.P.!

Why do you hate Sergio and H.P.?

A HEARTWARMING STORY OF THE FORBIDDEN PASSION BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS WATER BOTTLE.

I like them. Keep em coming man.

Much better composition on this page, and a nice sense of scale, though I'm not sure what the purpose of panel 4 is. However...in panel 2 his fingers are on the right hand side of the bottle. Panel 3 is viewed from the opposite angle but now his fingers are on the left side of the bottle. He's either got weird fucking hands or somebody isn't paying attention to the panel continuity. I really don't want to become "the guy who just nitpicks" but this is really basic Comics 101 stuff, you know?

This is how you plot a story, you talentless fuck? I can see why you got your ass booted off of MEG.

Cool - that was a Jawa right? It would totally rule if he bumped into R2D2 going the other way.

I don't exist.

Those fingers look like four long monkey toes

Art Monkey after reading your latest ponderous note - instead of an egotistical disgust I simply feel pity. You’ve regurgitated your connection to the industry, and have handed out what I take to be your bona fides as such. Once I realized I was reading a sentence you typed about which hand the character held a canteen in between two frames it dawned me that your abnormality and the way you coddle it are sadly moving. When you notice (no doubt you will, and it will happen soon) and you find yourself leaping about, exclaiming: “These boulders he’s drawn couldn’t be piled up like that for a second without collapsing!” And you rush to your keyboard, flapping and spraying, remember this - you’re simply trying to reduce everything you see to a concept, to do away with it by formulating it. And then you are turning up as a deus ex machina where none is needed. This truly explains the name you’ve chosen for yourself. All your exclamations are therefore absurd. And to simply place my footing beside the grandiose figure you cut, let me state my bona fides: I worked with the writer Brian Azzerello and Tim Vigil in the 1980’s in Chicago at Northstar Comics on the book Splatter, in Italian and Brazilian comics where lurid escapism is better appreciated and comic art is seen for what it is “an industrial art” without the preening, effeminate notions so obvious in American Mainstream comics, in the final book to carry the artwork of the legendary EC artist Johnny Craig before he died (as well as with George Evans and Jack Kamen) in Tomb Tales. In 2007 fantagraphics published Wheela, Biker Bitch of the Apocalypse - the best grindhouse dreck published in the last 5 years here, to which I contributed both a cover and an inside story -and also the Italian edition. I did the storyboard for an Onion film that wasn’t produced (after 9/11) called “Eskimoes Attack!” which had pissed off Eskimoes flying in igloos over Washington DC and hurling harpoons at screaming, panicky hordes. I still laugh at that script and the hours I spent on it. So I guess, although I have an ugly and industrial style of drawing I find work, interesting work. I’m paid for it. Hell fella, if I skipped some lessons and screw some shit up I can blame it on all the drugs, liquor and pussy I had in my youth - I’m a far better man for it, too I guess. What I can’t imagine is your determination to join these remorselessly unimaginative fuckpigs as they dispense vending machine insult. Honestly, one of them sounds exactly like a Holiday Inn chambermaid trying to kill a John Holmes erection by barging in and tossing Clorox out of a can at it. Another fact is, I read CHUD for years before Nick and I worked on Bridger or even said hello. And being a lover of grindhouse films I simply thank him for having the smarts to put this site to the use he has. When he interviewed me for an assignment he asked me what kind of films I liked, and I replied Polanski’s Fearless Vampire Killers and The Omega Man w/ Heston and I got Bridger. The script may at times not satisfy every last particle of humanity that drops in, the artwork may not cut it - but neither Nick nor I entertain the idea that that is a worthy goal. If you’ve ever watched a John Ford film - he’s no dramaturge. He doesn’t want to sprinkle the viewer’s sodden wet bottom with talcum so his ass doesn’t itch. No. He wants to make you watch a montage of train wheels, fists, asses and clouds.

eh

"Once I realized I was reading a sentence you typed about which hand the character held a canteen in between two frames it dawned me that your abnormality and the way you coddle it are sadly moving." - And once I realized that you're basically saying "I'm not really paying much attention to what I'm doing with this comic and don't much care if the pages actually make sense" I decided that it really wasn't worth engaging with you any more. I'm sure with all your years of experience you'll have no problem finding someone to put this half-assed effort in print, right? See you in the funny pages, chuckles.

This is fantastic stuff, you guys. I can't wait till Roland catches up with the Man in Black.

@#14/mdk The Pussy, the Drugs and the Grindhouse were 30 + years ago dude - time to admit your glory days are long gone and move forward. Whatever your underground experience and whatever your cultural reference points, you know fuck all about visual storytelling. I guess CHUD was right - Nostalgia retards development.

Oooooh, touchy from mdk! If you put stuff up on the net (of all places) people are going to criticise it. Take it on the chin and don't get involved! Serious suggestion; I think you need to get someone else to do your lettering, Nick. It's way ugly (font too large, word bubbles over-sized for the words within), and is part of what makes this look like fan fic as opposed to an actual comic.

I've had a lot of cheese and beer, so this may just be a horrible dream, but did this hack just compare himself to John Ford? On the basis that John Ford didn't trouble himself with trivial details like continuity and composition? I'm pretty sure there's a reason why one is a legendary director who helped define an entire medium, and the other is a bitter little man calling people faggots because they pointed out the glaring mistakes in his webcomic.

Please tell me your not going to ruin HPLovecraft for me by dragging his stuff into yur assiness.

For those keeping track at home thats ArtMonkey +2, MDK 0.