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- MCP: 50 CENT AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
MCP: 50 CENT AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
- By Phil Owen
- Published 03/27/2008
- Master Control Program
I don’t know how many of our readers were unlucky enough to play 50 Cent: Bulletproof a couple years ago. I was one of those unfortunate souls, and I’ll say this: the game was just about unplayable, containing some of the worst shooting mechanics of any game I have ever played.But somehow it sold a couple million copies, and Vivendi thought a sequel was in order. This one is called 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, and it features a plot that is, ah, reminiscent of one of this summer’s major blockbusters.
IGN did an interview with the game’s producer, Aaron Blean, who spilled the beans:
“50 and G-Unit are putting on a sold-out performance somewhere in a fictional Middle Eastern setting. This is where the 'blood on the sand' comes in. They put on the performance; the people are pleased, but the concert promoter stiffs them and doesn't give 50 and G-Unit their payment.
...
So, of course, 50 isn't going to leave until he gets paid, so he hassles the concert promoter, [saying] if he doesn't come up with the money now, there will be consequences. And instead, the promoter offers him a very valuable gift – something that's valuable to this particular country – a diamond encrusted skull.
So 50 gets the skull, and as he's about to leave this war-torn country, when they're ambushed and the skull is taken. They escape the ambush, but they're without the skull. So 50's motivated to get what belongs to him. So basically, throughout the game, he's trying to track these people down and find out who they are and why he was ambushed.”
Yeeeaaaaahhh….
More interesting to me than the Indy similarity is the cheap and exploitative way it basically inserts 50 Cent into the Iraq War. I bet somebody at Vivendi was playing Call of Duty 4 last year and said to his buddy, “This shit is so great. Just imagine how much better this would be if you were playing as 50 Cent instead of this fucking Marine.” Blean mentioned they had “some really good writers” working on the game. He also told MTV that 50 himself helped create the story. 50 Cent clearly has his creative energies focused in the right direction.
There might be reason to look forward to this game, however. Blean says “it's not going to be anything like the first game,” and that it "will definitely deliver the ultimate 50 Cent experience.” Thank god for that. I’ve been eagerly awaiting the ultimate 50 Cent experience for my entire life.
Those who are still reading this might interested to know the game will feature a Gears of War Marcus/Dom dynamic; the entire game will have 50 and one of members of G-Unit (your choice) fighting side by side and will also include co-op.
50 Cent: Blood on the Sand will hit the PS3 and 360 late this year. For more details and photos and shit, check out MTV and IGN.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by Ummmm...)
Yeah. This is the dumbest fucking shit I have ever heard. That is all.
Comment #2 (Posted by sankofa)
yeah buddy
Comment #3 (Posted by jay)
I will laugh my ass off if this game turns out to be pretty damn good. Unlikely, but amusing.
Comment #4 (Posted by Walter)
Shomar Fucking Shabbos.
Comment #5 (Posted by Zachra)
With his sales tanking completely for his latest album how could you seriously think he was still popular enough to carry another video game? Or is the popularity of his calorie-water factored into this mess?
Comment #6 (Posted by Boomstick)
I would have said "spilled the bleans."
Comment #7 (Posted by Sean)
I can see the power ups in this game already: packed bowls of pot, Kanye albums (they sold better, he should be retired), and Vitamin Water bottles.
Why bother with the "you choose" dynamic anyway? It's not like anyone worth a damn can actually name a member of G Unit. This game is pants: just a bad idea from the start.
Comment #8 (Posted by Adam)
I would expect nothing less from the biggest sell-out in the history of Hip Hop music.
Somewhere right now Vanilla Ice is saying, "Damn that guy is a sellout"
Comment #9 (Posted by The Knight who says Ni)
Are people really so freakin retarded? It makes me a saaaaaad Panda to see how hip hop/ rap artist think that just because they can sell some CD's that they can automatically dominate the entertainment markets. Ganstas in Iraq is not only retarded, it's mocking life
Comment #10 (Posted by John)
"Only in America"
Comment #11 (Posted by pr0jecktpat)
I worked at a Gamestop when that first game came out. It was honestly the most amazingly stupid people that actually bought it...oh yeah and also little kids wanted to by it as well for some fucking reason.
Comment #12 (Posted by Fuck this shit!)
Fuck this fucking shit! Did a retard chimp come up with this idea???
Comment #13 (Posted by Kaiju D'amato)
Man, i'm holding out for "Kanye in Kosovo." That one'll be even dumber.
Comment #14 (Posted by Shooter)
Maybe 50 can't shoot straight because he holds his gun sideways.
Comment #15 (Posted by RogueOne)
Don't forget about "Diddy In Darfur"
Comment #16 (Posted by A Bitch Is A Bitch)
Ummmmmm....You people realize Phil Owen wrote this garbage/article, right!?! Do all of you have standards so fucking low that all you can comment on is 50 Cent, and not how truly uninspired his contributions to the site are? Shit. Why don't you dumbasses challenge him to improve and not just clap your hands like retarded monkeys. Please, let's not support this lame anti-intellectual dickhead. I thought this was CHUD, not AICN or Jo-Blo!
Comment #17 (Posted by TVs David)
Was there ever an MC Hammer video game?
Comment #18 (Posted by Knugen)
Only in Iraq...
Comment #19 (Posted by Greg)
Will 50 Cent mumble his lines in the game like he does the lyrics in his songs. Fucking worthless piece of shit. G-g-g-g-g-g go fuck yourself.
Comment #20 (Posted by SciCurious)
@15: no, I think Phil picked a fight he can win here...