TERMINATOR'S TITLE SALVATION
- By Jeremy Smith
- Published 03/11/2008
- News
And ComingSoon.net thought they had the day's big scoop.Look, no one believed that the mouthful that was Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins ever stood a chance of cluttering a megaplex marquee, so the fact that it's been scrapped before the completion of principal photography is hardly a surprise. But rather than go with the obvious solution (numeral and stupid subtitle), Warner Brothers is apparently spitballing fancy replacements (in honor of devouring New Line, the studio should work Pacific Air 121* in there). That's a lot of unnecessary work for a franchise moniker, but, hell, where would this business be without unnecessary work? And what better way to burn an afternoon than a lazy brainstorming session?
I'm not saying I have sources on WB's Burbank lot, but I do hear things. And while there's a lot of intentional disinformation leaking out of this production (sorry, but no Terminator Babies), I am 100% certain that the title below is the approved-by-McG replacement. Dig it:
Terminator: The Return of the Terminator
Simple. Fucking. Perfection. Just remember where you heard it first.
Terminator: The Return of the Terminator hits theaters May 22, 2009.
*A kiboshed alternative title for both Final Destination and Snakes on a Plane. And The Last Mimzy for all we know.
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Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by Chris C)
Please let this be true. Please don't let it be April 1st or "Jeremy's Feeling Like Fuck!ng With Us" Day. Let this be true and let marquees across the land be filled with the most stupid movie title since Die Harder.
Comment #2 (Posted by bpvalentine)
No.
That title if hardly less of a mouthful. Also, how does it go from a beginning to a return? The film change what it wants to be?
Comment #3 (Posted by TerminatorXSpeaksWithHisHands)
I sooo want this to be good. Not sure they'll even get the title right tho.
Comment #4 (Posted by Kalgroth)
That is a tremendously brilliant title.
Comment #5 (Posted by Uuuuh)
That's still a shitty title, sure it's better then the verbal abortion that is Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins but not by much.
Comment #6 (Posted by Jakespeare a.k.a movieme)
Wow. All those times I wished they'd change that stupid title have come back to bite me in the ass big time.
Comment #7 (Posted by Tieman)
"Terminator: The Return of the Terminator hits theaters May 22, 2009." where it will be destroyed by Indiana Jones. Seriously, why are these opening on the same day?
Comment #8 (Posted by Zachra)
Can you use the main title in the subtitle as well?
Comment #9 (Posted by zik)
Tieman, check the year. 2009. They're opening a year apart.
Comment #10 (Posted by McG)
As long as it's approved by me, I'm happy with whatever it is. I'm fucking McG, for chrissakes!
Comment #11 (Posted by Retlaw Kciuq)
Wouldn't it be easier if they kept the first film as "The Future Begins" and the third film "Salvation"?
Comment #12 (Posted by Sylvester Stallone)
Why not just call it TERMINATOR?
Comment #13 (Posted by solartaco)
Heard it 1st at Aintitcool, but I still love you.
Comment #14 (Posted by Pete)
How about,
Terminator: The Return of the Terminator: The Return of the Terminator: The Return of the Terminator: The Return of the Terminator: The Return of the Terminator: The Return of the Terminator: The Return of the Terminator: The Return of the...
Comment #15 (Posted by Buffaluffasaurus)
Apparently it was a toss-up between that and "Terminator: The Terminator Returns to Totally Terminate Some Stuff".
Comment #16 (Posted by Vinz)
A Terminator is a Terminator is a Terminator...
Comment #17 (Posted by BurmaShave)
LesMiserabLesMiserabLesMiserabLesMiserabLes
Comment #18 (Posted by Shannon)
I vote for "A Terminator," considering there will be more than one.
Comment #19 (Posted by dreary louse)
Uh, why isn't it just called "The Return of the Terminator?"
They think we're idiots; but maybe we are, if market research tells them we'd lose interest in that title before reading that glorious fifth word.
That's the only reasoning for such a terrible, redundant name...
Comment #20 (Posted by Trip7s)
You guys sure love your asteriks don't you?
Comment #21 (Posted by LD)
Why not use the new Bond movie title random generator for this on too...I'm saying the title will be "Terminator: Indeterminancy of Assuagement".
Comment #22 (Posted by Brad_Lohan)
I like how the subtitle clears up the mystery as to whether or not the Terminator will return in a Terminator film.
Comment #23 (Posted by Kirk)
Re:Terminator? or Tarded.
Comment #24 (Posted by pito)
I got it, how about:
Terminator: McG's Abortion
Comment #25 (Posted by an unknown user)
How are any of you saying this is an improvement? My god, it's awful. Why not just "Terminator: Salvation", or "Terminator: He's Back", or if they really insist on redundancy, "Terminator: He's Back, Like He Promised He'd Be, Back in The Terminator". Simplicity, though, implies "Terminator: Terminators" should be sufficiently redundant.
Comment #26 (Posted by Johnny Daywalker)
I liked Terminator Salvation better.
Comment #27 (Posted by The Mirrorball Man)
"Terminator: The Return of the Terminator" sounds almost as good as "Indiana Jones: The Aventures of Indiana Jones" or "Rocky: Rocky Balboa". I'm still waiting for "Star Trek: Trek Among the Stars" myself.
Comment #28 (Posted by The Mutt)
The title only makes sense when you think in terms of how the DVDs will sit on the shelf at Blockbuster.
I'd go with Terminator 4: Fuck the Future.
Comment #29 (Posted by an unknown user)
Terminator: Get to da Choppa!
Comment #30 (Posted by Hellblazer)
The actual title of the first film is "The Terminator". Just call the new one "Terminator" and be done with it.
That said, "Terminator 4: Fuck the Future" is genius.
Comment #31 (Posted by gridbug)
As opposed to something far more on point, like, say... TERMINATOR: FUTURE WAR. Ding dang dumb.
Comment #32 (Posted by cobane)
"The Returninator of the Terminator."
Comment #33 (Posted by an unknown user)
Stupid title. It would have worked for either of the last two, which were actually about the Terminator returning. It doesn't really click with a movie about the future war after Judgment Day.
Comment #34 (Posted by SciCurious)
Cobane's almost there:
"The Reterminator" - simple, stupid, fucked - suits the director - suits the obviously intended audience.
Me, I'd go for "Terminator Future: Metal Skeleton Overdrive" (Parts One, Two and Three - y'know, to keep it classy).
Comment #35 (Posted by Rabid Edward Furlong Apologist)
We have some real marketing geniuses up in here. Fuck the title. I demand a return to T2 form. I want a new classic.
Comment #36 (Posted by Chris G)
This really is terrible...every single English teacher I ever had in grade school would take points off if I wrote that title.
They should have just cribbed from the Dark Horse titles, a la The Burning Earth, which is hands-down my favorite Terminator story (artwork included).
If there is ever a final Terminator movie, my vote is for:
Terminator: Endgame
Just like the DH comic!
Comment #37 (Posted by Simulator)
WTF kinda title is that "The Return of the Terminator" bullshit. this movie better not be a new rehash on a old classic. i don't wanna see this movie following the footsteps of other fucked up movies like Superman Returns and Batman Begins. Fuck titles with 'returns, begins,' or the like. Terminator: Salvation should just be it if they run out of ideas.
Comment #38 (Posted by Bobby Goren)
What a stupid fucking title. You all sound like Mike Logan. No wonder Wheeler had to leave the country--she needed to get away from mouth breathers like the lot of you.
Comment #39 (Posted by Alex)
Terminator 4: The War of the Machines
why hasn't anyone suggested it?
Comment #40 (Posted by AKT)
this guys are so stupid. in their bid 2 spill out mis information and unnecessary hype they are dragging a classic thru d mud. jus fuckin make d movie
