We’re usually taught to respect our elders; but there have been plenty of characters in film who never quite got that memo. There’s been a long and proud tradition in movies of elderly abuse and bad doings being transgressed on the 4:30 dinner crowd. This is the generation that did things like survived the Great Depression, fought the Nazis and the Reds, raised our parents and all too often us. One would think they’d earned a bit of consideration for things like guaranteed Social Security, adult diapers that don’t leak and generally not getting the shit beat out of them or snuffed like some third rate movie extra. In this CHUD list, we’re going to take a look at 15 old timers who, unfortunately, turned into having-a-really-bad-timers.
The Film: Female Trouble (1974)
The Director: John Waters
The Elders: Aunt Ida (Edith Massey) + [CHRISTMAS BONUS… Dawn’s Mother (Betty Woods)]
So this isn’t the first time I’ve dug through the depths of John Water’s more infamous films (link NSFW) to make sure a list sinks nice and low before it’s over. This time around I’m pulling from another early Waters effort, Female Trouble, which was in fact Waters’ follow up to Pink Flamingos, which capped the Bodily Function Junction list. While Female Trouble is a definitely of the same meandering, reality-TV-predicting vein of much of Water’s 70s work, the film actually boasts one of the more cogent narratives, basically covering the origin, rise, and fall of a theoretical trash icon, Dawn Davenport (played by Waters’ first muse, the great cross-dressing Divine).
Dawn’s story is littered with olds, several of which stand crookedly tall among the most memorable and disgusting of all Waters’ characters. In this case we’re looking at two sides of the coin; the delightfully trashy Aunt Ida as well as Dawn’s naive and conservative (unnamed) mother. Both endure serious humiliation, with dismemberment and holiday-appropriate disrespect aplenty.
The Abuse: Kidnap, Imprisonment, Humiliation, and Dismemberment + [CHRISTMAS BONUS… Crushing By Christmas Tree!]
Our primary abuse is aimed at Aunt Ida, the mother of Dawn’s eventual husband Gator. It’s difficult to concisely sum up the complex relationship between Dawn and Ida and how that leads to the dismemberment at hand, but it goes something like this: Aunt Ida wants more than anything for her son Gator to become a gay man and to avoid the boring hetero lifestyle. Unfortunately for her, Gator instead marries Dawn, who Ida naturally despises. When things eventually go south between Dawn and Gator, the old woman assaults her son’s former lover with acid, scarring up her face. Through a series of very bizarre circumstances, Aunt Ida becomes imprisoned in a cage in Dawn’s home, presented as a gift to Dawn from The Dashers, her friends and artistic compatriots. It’s all very weird, but basically this jaunty-toothed old lady ends up in a bird cage in Dawn’s home, leaving her vulnerable to Dawn’s revenge (skip to around 0:50 for the act)….
And to cover our bonus Christmas abuse, check out the scene in which Dawn Davenport finally decides to abandon her home and embark on her new life of trashiness. This final straw for Dawn results in her poor mother getting pinned beneath the Christmas tree…
Lack Of Respect By: Dawn Davenport (Divine)
By the time she becomes a violent severer of appendages, Dawn has been transformed into an unlikely icon of fashion and (mostly artificial and delusional) fame, having been taking on as a sort of “beauty in crime and disfigurement” type art project by the Dasher couple. Here she has recovered from her acid incident and found her home remodeled and her enemy presented to her in a cage. Per her nature, she decides violent revenge is the best path.
And on the subject of our bonus abuse… well, I think it just goes to clearly show that Dawn was always destined to live the lifestyle of a solo, trashy Bonnie Parker.
Did They Have It Coming? Dawn’s mother certainly did not, but ole Aunt Ida did kind of throw acid in her dismemberer’s face not a few scenes before…
Could the AARP Have Helped? Not in John Water’s universe. No chance.
If Nature Had Taken Its Course?
In the case of Aunt Ida, while she survives her dismemberment and continues on through life hook-handed, it’s as likely as not that one of the many venereal diseases she’s incubating will ultimately take her out. Excluding that, some bought of senility would probably inspire her to fuck a bull or some other unacceptable creature that would end her day.
In the case of Dawn’s Mother, assuming she survives her Christmas trauma she’ll likely find her life improved by the disappearance of her psychopathic daughter. She and her husband will likely live out the rest of their little lives in relative peace, occasionally shouting about bills and eventually passing away with six months of each other from, oh, let’s say liver failure.
I think I might have gone knuckle-deep spelunking with Edit Massey back in the late 40s, so it’s a shame the left hand of such a fine woman would have its career ended so abruptly and tragically.
