I’m writing to you from the fabulous Hampton Inn & Suites in Springfield, Missouri. If you are looking for a place where you can sit at a bar, drink an Absolut and Soda and watch the Antiques Road Show, then this is it. This is college basketball season, isn’t it? The NBA is playing still, right?

This place has had such an impact on me I actually used the words “golly gee” in a text message. I don’t want to say its boring, but all of the “excitement” is in Branson about 65 miles from here, and I know for a fact that Branson is a wholesome, family town. I’m just not a wholesome, family guy. No offense to all of the wholesome, family folks that read my blog of course.

I have been here since Sunday night and was about to spend $800 last night to get out of here a day early. The TV has HBO and local channels with ESPN and ESPN2, the bed is a king, but it ain’t my tempurpedic and it is killing my back. I’m sitting at a small desk working on my laptop occaisionally being called Kroshka via text message. No, its not a dirty word, but it does mean my girl thinks of me as her “baby girl.” At least that’s the translation I learned. There will be spanking when I return to the 21st century.

So aside from the streets rolling up at 9pm, the bars showing the Antiques Road Show instead of any sports at all, and billboards advertising a swell time in Branson I am bored out of my fucking mind. I came here for training on a new software package that my company is rolling out next month. I am leaving here tomorrow with a new rule for business trips. NEVER to the midwest ever again!