I’ve got a piece of news here about which I am absolutely ecstatic. I’ve been up since 6 and have been stumbling through the day in a haze, but this news cleared that right up. I’m suddenly perfectly alert, and it’s because Universal made a deal with Hasbro to make movies out of random Hasbro properties (excepting G.I. Joe and Transformers, of course). Universal has committed to making at least four features based on famous Hasbro brands in the next six years.

After thinking this through for a few minutes, I find myself unable to discover why I’m so pumped about this. Maybe it’s because this news means Ridley Scott’s Monopoly film will probably move forward. Or maybe it’s just the thought of an object like a fucking Ouija board being adapted into a movie.

The announcement came with a list of possible adaptations: Monopoly (there it is!), Candy Land, Stretch Armstrong, Magic, The Gathering (for those unaware, this is a trading card game), Ouija (Ouija!). Also on the list is Clue, which I believe is the only board game that has so far been adapted into a film. And for the record, I’m not so excited about the prospect of another Clue movie; I doubt a new film could match the awesome mayhem of the old one.

It’s pretty easy to come up with premises for most of these (assuming they would be live-action), and some of them would just be rip-offs of preexisting works. For example, Candy Land is Alice in Wonderland (or a live-action version of this), Stretch Armstrong is a Mr. Fantastic spin-off and Ouija is Witchboard.

Magic is pretty easy as well, because there are 28 storylines listed on the Wizards of the Coast website that could be adapted. And Clue would obviously be rather simple, too, because they already have a movie off which they can work.

I guess it makes perfect sense, then, that the brand on the list that is the weirdest candidate for an adaptation, Monopoly, would be the only one to actually have some movement. Of course, Scott has about a half dozen other projects he wants to do before he, you know, dies (he’s 70). So like Blood Meridian, this one might be in stasis for a while. Or forever.

The announcement said they’re planning to release one film a year beginning in 2010. I leave you with this quote from Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner:

“Today’s Hasbro is so much more than a traditional toy and game company, and this partnership is a powerful example of how we are offering our consumers new ways to enjoy unique and immersive experience with our brands.”