Today represents the very pinnacle of human artistic triumph. February 11th, 2008 will forever go down in history as the day when everything changed. Nothing will again be the same. On this day, the GI Joe movie began shooting. A live action motion picture based on a cartoon based on a toy based on another, older and larger toy, will get more attention from many of the people reading this than the genocide in Darfur. God knows I’ll spend more of my time writing about this movie than I ever will about any event in the world that means something. Just throwing that out there, to put the shallowness of our lives in stark relief.
Dennis Quaid – who is playing Hawk – tells Collider he’ll be shooting for two weeks out of the film’s schedule. He also tells the site that the movie is going to be pretty stupid, which is the kind of shocking news that is probably responsible for the current recession. No wonder Wall Street is skittish – the GI Joe movie will be silly! “We grew up with G.I. Joe and it’s kind of a cartoon thing…it’s a big popcorn type of tent pole action movie that…it’s not deep. The character of General Hawk that I’m playing is kind of a cross between Chuck Yeager and Sgt. Rock and maybe a naïve Hugh Hefner thrown in there. General Hawk’s aide to camp [sic] is a Victoria Secret supermodel so how serious can it be?”
Quaid likens the tone of the film to early James Bond movies, “where the mastermind has his own private island and all these people are wearing matching coveralls.”
GI Joe will be out in 2009, and then President John McCain will send them all to Iran. Tough luck, Snowjob.
A new home awaits you. — By Travis Newton