I just found out that the new Land of the Lost movie will be not exactly raping my childhood but sort of leering at it in a very uncomfortable way. Instead of being about a dad and his two kids – Marshall, Will and Holly – falling into a world of dinosaurs, Sleestaks and ape men, the film will be about a paleontologist, his sexy assistant and a macho tour guide. Will Ferrell will be playing the paleontologist, and his assistant – who is also his love interest – will be played by Anna Friel, the Brit babe who appears as ‘Chuck’ on Pushing Daisies. Don’t expect more explanation from me, as I have yet to see the show, but I did look at pictures of her and she is cute.
The whole new angle is bumming me out. I guess sexual tension is weird when it’s a dad and siblings, and I imagine that this variation will have Ferrell and whoever plays the macho tour guide vying for the affections of Friel’s character while trying to avoid getting et up by dinosaurs – that’s what we in the business call tension. Drama. Excitement. Maybe the movie will play a wild card and Chaka will get a chance to mount Friel from behind while beating her over the head with a Sleestak thigh bone. I would immediately pre-order that DVD.
Land of the Lost begins shooting next month.
A new home awaits you. — By Travis Newton